It's a Gregorious Life

Sunday

Friday evening was the usual porch sitting with mom and her uncle. Some man came by and stood and talked from about 615 to 640, so mom and I and her brother didn't get to talk a whole lot.

I think he used to work with dad at Homelite, but he seemed to be a bit of a braggart so I don't really know. I guess he's just lonely. No harm done, I guess I'm just selfish.

Saturday I got there about four and it was nice and cool and raining so we didn't even think about going out. I took her to supper a little before 5 and her next door neighbor was at her table. When I went back to check on her about 540 someone in the hall said they were down there talking, so I just left her there to visit with her neighbor. She needs someone there to talk to.

Back in the room she asked me if I wanted part of a moonpie and I did. Then she said "do you feel like a whole pie?" and I said no I feel pretty much like myself. 

She said her head hurt like a migrane and she said she didn't want to get sick. I told her to be sure and tell the nurse if she didn't feel any better.

Sunday I went over again about four and she was in the room asleep. We talked until she went to supper about 5 then we went outside after that. 

She said she had a dream that dad was home but he wouldn't talk to her. She remembered when he was sick and she had took him to the doctor and he passed some blood. She said she didn't want to kiss him on the mouth, and thinks thats why he won't touch her or talk to her in her dreams. 

We got a surprise visit from Erin and Jeffery and Maggie and Brewer and David and Pat about 6. They stayed until about 745. We sat outside at first then moved to the lobby for the seating. She had a good time. We left after that and went to Logans. 

Monday

Mom and Donald were sitting out back in the sun when I got there but were about to go around to the front. 

So we went out front and sat til about 620. Mom had been sound asleep just before supper and was still confused. "Is it morning or evening?" she asked. She said her great grand kids ere there today when I asked what her day was like. Then agreed that she was thinking of yesterday, but she didn't remember that I was there too.

She was just real confused. Her brother helped her scoot back in her chair. 

She was depressed about the visit yesterday. She said the kids were all crying and wouldn't have anything to do with her. "None of them would have anything to do with me. I'm just an old woman to them." 

I tried to tell her they're children and can't be controlled one hundred percent. And I reminded her Emma had given her her precious Blossom to hold.

Donald made that mosquito sound again and I was about to smack my ear when I saw him smirking out of the corner of my eye. 

"Other stroke patients get therapy. These people just don't like me at this place" she said. It was a pretty down evening but we tried to cheer her up and she did get out a few laughs. I brought her necklace back that I had fixed and put it on her. I took a picture so Terry could see it was back on. 

Mothers Day 2013

Note: Site has been down because this circa-2006 desktop I'm using had a problem authenticating my connection to Typepad for the past 38 hours. I apologize for any inconvenience.

 

Mandy and Terry went by Friday morning to see mom before they headed out of town.

Saturday she said she didn't have any coffee at breakfast so a CNA took the time to go get her some and bring it to the room for her. 

Sunday Tim went to pick her up about 1145. They stopped and got some food and got to the house about 1245, the same as David and Pat. We started eating about 1 and Michelle and Drew joined us a few minutes later. 

We had a great meal. Tim got chicken from Harris Teeter and Bojangles, some tea pintos from Bojangles, slaw from KFC, and Pat made potato salad, corn on the cob, green beans, and a pound cake. David had chocolate ice cream to put on it. She did all that on the day she was supposed to be off! Mom missed Terry but she did get to see her Friday.

Mom wanted legs and told us she wanted "one in each hand." She said at one point she had lost one of them. I told her it couldn't have gone far since it was just one leg. She got a laugh out of it. It was in a plate to her right. 

Needless to say it was a wonderful meal. We had a good time talking and laughing. Mom told a story about breastfeeding Tim in bed then almost dropping him when she got up to put him in his crib, catching him with two fingers by the ankle. Michelle told about refusing to let Drew sleep with them when he was three so as not to keep that going. The stories from mom, Pat and Michelle  were a fun spin to the day. 

David gave us a good laugh by asking before he got up from the side he was on if the table would turn over because myself, Michelle and Drew were on the other side. I told Michelle I couldn't believe I just heard that. Tim stepped in to hold the fort down for that side. 

She opened her presents outside and took some photos. 

I kept Drake in his crate so as to keep goings and comings orderly but let him out briefly to visit when Tim and mom and David came inside. 

We read a little from her diary about her mothers day in 1941. She got her mom a house coat and gown and some type of pin. Mom had a good conversation with Drew.

The party didn't break up until a little after 4. Tim and I took mom back to the facility and David and Pat came back by later and brought her a happy meal since she didn't want a big supper. 

Back in the room she asked Pat to put her presents in her gown drawer. She didn't want anyone to get them. She explained "thats's why I wear all my bracelets on my arm, so they won't get gone." I said it's a good thing there wasn't a clothes thief around. Can you imagine her going down the hall wearing all her clothes? 

She seemed really alert today and really enjoyed the whole experience, as did everyone. For her it was a little more special. I told her she had been very popular today and she said that I should I become a mother I would know what that felt. "I pray (becomming a mother) that never happens momma" I said. She laughed then agreed.

Friday

I called mom Thursday night to tell her I wasn't coming over but the phone was busy. I had worked late alone and then went to get some birthday cards for her to sign. 

I could tell my the phone tracking that David and Pat were over there around 8, and today she said Mandy had been there and was cleaning with the broom.

"She wore me out with that sweeper" she said. I asked her why she was hitting her. She said no, just her constant cleaning wore her out watching her. 

Donald said she didn't eat any of her supper except the dessert. "I don't like sesame chicken" she said. I had brought her some pumpkin cookies and a piece of dark chocolate that Denise from work had sent her. She ate a cookie and had a bite of the chocolate.

The good news was that they checked her sugar and it was 98. I told her I had noticed she seemed a little less sweet. 

An ambulance drove up in the circle while we were sitting there in the lobby. We had all already agreed that it was from Stanley but mom then said "that's an..... (long pause)... ambulance.... from somewhere." Then she started laughing cause she knew she had paused so long and said something we already knew. It's really cool that she recognizes the shortcomings sometimes in her short term memory and can laugh about it.

We talked about her dental appointment on Monday. I told her she had done really well getting into the dentist chair the other week. "I've been trying to take steps sittin in my chair" she said. 

Someone mentioned the pumpkin cookies (ok I know it was just the three of us but I don't remember the reference) and mom was like, huh? She didn't remember the cookies were there and wanted one. So she started maneuvering her chair toward them as they sat on the table. A wheel ran aground on a sitting chair. 

Her brother said "Gee you turned right into that chair there." I told him that she still looked like herself to me.

Ba-da-BING!

She said her nose is stopped up but hasn't told the nurse about it yet. I will have to check into it when I bring her the cards to sign tomorrow.

Watching the NBC Universal Hurricane Sandy Relief Special at the moment.

 

Monday

Mom and her brother joined me on the porch within moments of my arrival after work.

I was telling her that I have to work out of town for the next two days (I set the Rover's suspension to "mud ruts" jokingly) and was wondering outloud about breakfast in the morning, finally remembering I had something fast to fix, Pop Tarts. Mom thought I said hot dogs. "You don't eat hot dogs for breakfast" she said. 

She said something about someone who had not been raised in the church and was somewhat concerned about it. I asked her if that made him a heathern. Her brother chimed in that had it been a woman would she have been a shethern? Good question, probably one you'd only hear south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Someone came out and somehow Beulah's house came up as a subject. The lady was thinking about the one across the street from it though. I told her they just built a three car garage but have 8 cars in the yard, in the grass.

She asked me how many were at mine and I said mine and, referring to mom as I pointed to her, "hers." Mom said "Hers????" as though offended at being referred to in the third person. 

The same lady found something on moms shirt. Mom said it was a piece of the Boston creme pie she had for supper, but after being knocked to the floor and upon closer photographic inspection it was determined to be a pinto bean gone rogue.

Another visitor came by bringing flowers to her relative there and had a beautiful yellow flower she let mom hold. Mom told her it is a chrsyanthanum, or however it's spelled.

I got the car and showed her the new bedding I bought in the back, then left. Some singers were supposed to start at 645.

 

Sunday

Mom was in the room asleep when I got there about 230. I woke her up and she needed to go to the bathroom so I pushed the button. 

She said she had her underwear changed earlier. After she got out of the bathroom we went to the porch. Linda met us coming up the hallway and said the rocking chairs were screaming our names. 

Out there I told her I had a surprise in the car. "You dog?" she said. I asked if she was calling me a dog. But no, it was a chocolate milkshake from Tony's.

I got those for us and we ate 'em all up. She said "what is this, the goodbye to summer?" I told her that was fine with me.

I sold my old iphone on Craigslist and someone wanted to meet me at 5 so I took her inside about 425 and went home to get it. When I got back I called her from the porch to tell her that her food was already on the table - it was 445- and she said she was waiting on them to take her to the bathroom again. 

David drove up in moms car just after that. He had taken it to get a new battery and had it cleaned up inside and out. He went inside to hang up her clothes and about that time a CNA came out the door with mom in tow. She had taken her to the bathroom and changed her diaper again.

I told mom her car was over there. Pat arrived and showed mom where it was. She got a kick out of seeing it. David went to her them all some coffee.

She said her pastor Rev. Doles ame to see her yesterday. He's been over a lot lately.

Pat helped her fill out a birthday card. It was a great Sunday visit on the porch.

Saturday

I spent the morning at the Dallas flea market helping to register voters, from 745-noon. Stopped at Northstar on the way back and got some boiled shrimp for lunch. Ate that, took Drake out, then he and I took an afternoon nap.

Then I went out and weed-eated Misha's grave site and a few other places. When I went to the bathroom to get ready to go to moms I saw my face had gotten sunburned this morning. I wasn't even thinking about that.

David and Pat were in the driveway when I went out to leave the house. He was still working on moms battery. When I pulled out of the driveway I had martina McBride on the ipod singing "Anyway". I played her video for mom later on the porch. I told her it was a wonderful song and about the line that says "when I pray it doesn't always work out like I think it should, but I do it anyway." Mom said it sounded like she had a lot on her mind. I told her it was supposed to be an encouraging song. Mom said "it sounds depressing to me." I got teary eyed watching the video.

I got to moms about 5 and she was in there eating. Fish, hush puppies, tomatoes and okra, slaw, and orange sherbert, which she said she was not interested in. I told her I'd wait in the lobby for her. She had on a really nice outfit.

She came out there about 520 and we went to the porch. I told her David was at the house working on her battery. "That's history repeating itself" she said. She remembered when dad was sick and the battery was dead she got it jumped then went to Advance Auto over there where we used to go to A&P ages ago. I asked her is she wanted something to drink and she said she didn't want to have to go to the bathroom. She said after lunch she had pressed the button and no one ever came so she had to pee in her pants.

She didn't want them to change her clothes so she said she sat in the window in the sun for them to dry. Isn't that awful? 

Even worse, a few minutes later I asked her again if she wanted something to drink. She said the same thing again about not wanting to go to the bathroom. I said oh no I just asked you that and thanked her for not lambasting me. "I don't prefer that type of conversation" she laughed.

Then in words beyond her eighth grade education she said "What was that I used to say to daddy and he would laugh... he said something and I retorted back to him and he thought it was funny." she never did remember what it was.

I asked her if she wanted to go see Batchie and she was afraid she may not be there. She said she wish she got to come over more often. I'm going to see if I can get mom to the house for lunch tomorrow and maybe we can go see her on the way back.

Sunday

I picked up mom at 1230. She was in the room getting her purse and things together. She said she had on Charlie. We stopped at Bojangles on the way home and got some coffee and tea.

At home lunch was ready. We had green beans, mashed potatoes, garlic rubbed pork tenderloin, and rolls. Then she had a brownie with vanilla ice cream for dessert and had her coffee.

She said it was good but I told her it was pitiful payback for all the wonderful meals she had fixed us. Drake ate his lunch and gave mom a quick lick on her little finger which gave her a thrill. She should be because he rarely licks.

Terry had called just as we walked in the door and wanted to have a video chat on Skype with mom and Marianne so mom could see the new baby, so I called her back once we were finished.

Terry told mom she's reading a book about a woman who was in a similar situation as moms and after 8 years she was able to walk again. Mom said she was running out of time. I told her she already had 3 down. I just now realized as I was typing this that the other day was the fifth anniversary of her stroke.

We had a good video and mom got to talk to Terry and Marianne and Matt and to see Anabelle really well. We all talked about 24 minutes, then Matt and Marianne were off to get some clothes for a photo shoot tomorrow with the baby. She had emailed me a lot of photos the other day so after the chat mom and I looked at them fullscreen. They were really good.

Terry asked if we had read the diary yet so we did that after we disconnected. I said let's go to Tuesday June 10th. "It's July" mom quickly snapped. Oh yeah I said.  We ready about a weeks worth. The last entry we read mom said that dad had her worried. He wasn't dad back then though of course. She has a good memory, recounting what initials stood for whom, what a dream was about, etc.

We left the house about 420 after sitting outside on the deck a little while in the sun. Well, she did. Drake and I stayed in the shade. Mom dozed off a little. We went by the gravesite on the way back. The flags were still there as were the flowers.

It was 5pm when we drove back up at the facility. Mom went in to eat, and didn't come out until almost 45 minutes later. I told her if I'd known she would be that long I would have stayed in the room because of the heat. "You know I can't rush" she said. I told her I knew that, I was just saying.

We stayed out there and David and Pat walked up about 7. The heat had really done me in by then so I left after a few minutes.