It's a Gregorious Life

Saturday

Mom was in the room watching something on tv when I got there about 530.

She said Mandy had come by and brought my crock pot back, took down the Christmas stuff and put up a new wreath. She also put her poinsettia on the table where she could see it better.

She had found her list of exercises the therapist gave her yesterday but said she wasn't able to scoot back, so I scooted her back. She said she wandered if her neighbor back home was nicknamed for that; Scoot, real name Matilda.

She played bingo this morning and won a quarter. I told her that was a quarter she didn't have before.

She said she was half asleep when she went into the bathroom and tried to go by herself, realized what she was  doing and backed out and got hung. She said she called out for momma, Batchie, everybody. She couldn't remember if it really happened or if it was a dream.

Terry called her at 7 and they talked a while. I left about 730. Here's her Happy New Year photo.

Friday

Tim went by to see mom at lunch and got her some stuff from Bojangles. David came in just before they took her to therapy.

I went by about 6 and she and Donald were in the lobby. She said the therapy had made her tired. They put weights on her legs again. She said they were working on her knees a lot.

They were having a New Years party in the dining room when she got back so she went to that. I'm not sure if that's what it was or a party for someone who was leaving, as I had seen that posted somewhere the other day.

She said the therapist had written down some exercises for her to be working on but she doesn't know what became of the paper. I looked in the room and didn't see it.

Thursday

Terry and Melody and Michael and their kids went by moms this afternoon about 3. They took her some food from their Christmas lunch they had today and mom had it heated up for her supper tonight. Turkey and everything including pecan pie.

I went over about 7 and she was in the room snoozing. David got there not long after me. He was still there when I left about 730.

She said her knee was sore from therapy yesterday. He told her tomorrow it's at 1pm and he'll meet her there. She was sitting crooked in the chair. It looked really uncomfortable. We had her try to straighten up but it didn't help a lot.

Wednesday

Mom called me this morning about 9 something to see if I knew when her appointment was. I didn't so I called David. When I tried to call her back I could not get an answer.

I went over after work and she was still eating but soon came out to the lobby. She had on the new outfit she said David and Pat got her and a smile on her face.

We had a good time. She said "I'm trying to feel better about my future." I told her I really thought the therapy was helping and she shook her head in agreement. "He really worked on that knee" she said, speaking of the therapy today.

She said she got back about 3 and David was there when she left. "He was talking like I was doing a whole lot better" she said about her therapist. She said jokingly that he was little irritated though because she got confused and would push when he said pull and vice verse.

Donald had brought her a snack but I had also brought her a raspberry chocolate cookie from Subway. I told her to eat mine and save his for later because his was wrapped in alumininum foil and would last longer. "Well everyone's been telling me what to do today so I may as well keep it up" she said as she popped it in her mouth.

Her brother had also brought her an obituary from Monday's paper. It was for her friend Ruth Williamson. She had been at another facility but had died. Mom said no one had told her. "They (church) forgot about me after Andrew died", some negativity creeping back in.

I asked her on a scale of one to three with one being awful and three being awesome how would she rate her day. "I guess in the long run it was a three."

Indeed!

Mary Ruth Williamson

  |   Visit Guest Book

GASTONIA - Mary Ruth Ivester Williamson, 85, of Gastonia, went to be with her Lord Jesus, Friday, Dec. 23, 2011, at Gaston Memorial Hospital.

She was a native of Fair Play, S.C., daughter of the late Lamar Ivester and Rosa Burdette Ivester Hall.

In addition to her parents she was preceded in death by her husbands, Robert L. Harris and Alonzo Williamson.

Mrs. Williamson retired from A.M. Smyre Manufacturing. Ruth was a faithful member of Fraley Memorial Baptist for 50 years. She was very active in her church including visits to shut-ins and hospital patients. She lived a life of total service to her Lord.

Survivors include her daughter, Carolyn H. Mayer and husband Bill; granddaughter, Tracy Nash; great granddaughter, Jessica Hucks; brother, Thomas G. Ivester and wife Fern; special grand dog, Prancer and very special friend, John H. Smith.

A funeral service will be held at 2 p.m. Monday, December 26, 2011 at the Founders Chapel of McLean Funeral Directors with Dr. Warner Doles and Rev. Ken Faulkenbury officiating.

The family will receive friends from 1 until 2 p.m. Monday, Dec. 26, 2011, at McLean Funeral Directors of Gastonia before the service.
Interment will follow at Gaston Memorial Park.

Memorial may be made to: Gaston Hospice, PO Box 3984, Gastonia, NC 28054.

Condolences may be sent online at www.mcleanfuneral.com

McLean Funeral Directors of Gastonia is serving the family of Mrs. Williamson.

Published in Gaston Gazette on December 25, 2011

 

Tuesday

David and Pat went by moms this afternoon and took her some presents from the beach. I went by for just a minute after work.

She was in the dining room listening to Community Christian singers. I sat down for a minute and asked her if the blouse she was wearing was new. She said it was the one Brenda from her church had given her. It looked really good on her.

I asked her about David and Pat coming by and she said she had a big blanket on the bed. I told her I would go look at it. It is huge. I went back and sat down and told her it was almost life-like. She agreed. She was smiling and obviously happy. I didn't stay so I don't know what else she got. She did say the shoes I got her seemed too narrow but was going to try them on again tomorrow. I told her I could take them back.

Mom said while we were in the lobby earlier today that David and Pat had sad they were coming back late today. She was right! I just confirmed their location on the iPhone.

Monday, December 26

Mom was in the room asleep when I went over there about 145. I was going to eat lunch and I had her a bo-berry biscuit and some coffee. But it was almost 2 and the lady came around about bingo.

So mom was really groggy but muddled off down the hall for bingo. I ate my lunch and started checking my email.

I saw where Cindy had said today would be a good day to come work on the tv so I called her and decided about 250 to go on over there since mom was still in bingo. I had took her shoes in and a top that was still in the car from yesterday so I laid those out on the bed and left the biscuit and coffee on the table. She had said earlier when I got there that she didn't remember the shoes from yesterday.

I went to Cindy's then home then back to moms at 510. I took her some ham biscuits Michelle had sent with us from yesterday. I took that to her in the dining room. Donald had gone to get Ruth some water.

Mom came out to the lobby later. She was tired and slumped over. I tried to get her to work on posture but she accused me of slumping too when I told her she was. "You are too" she said. She said the green beans at supper were not good.

Something we were talking about made her say "we climb mountains all through life. I'm climbing one myself right now not doing so well at it." We told her she was and that the therapy would help.

The reverend from St. Paul's dropped by, Rev. Sherill Curtis. He was there to see someone and when I recognized him I stopped him and told him what a good sermon he preached at Lorraine's funeral the other week. He introduced me to his wife, and confirmed what Lisa had said about him retiring at the first of the year because of his knees.

I left about 645 as they headed to the room.

 

Christmas Day, 2011

We had the pleasure of having mom with us for another Christmas this year, her 88th. She'll turn 88 in less than 6 months. It seems every day a little part is slipping away then she snaps back and surprises you.

I picked her up at the facility at 1. Terry was already there. We loaded up the car and got mom and headed to Tim and Michelle's. We were almost there when mom said "just one more left turn to go." She was correct, and it was only the third time she had been to their house in the course of a year.

We had a great lunch. The usual suspects were there. My chili sadly went untouched, as it took forever to heat in the crock pot and by then we were eating. So it ended up at Darrel and Mandy's when I took Terry home. The Tribeca traveled about 135 miles today.

We were setting around the table after lunch and mom started talking about Arthur Holtzclaw again, and how her had sang "Beautiful Brown Eyes" to her mom said "in the bathroom." I said what? Terry corrected me, she had said in the back room. Mom twirled her finger around her ear and said "your minds are messed up."

We opened presents and she had a ton there, about 6 I think. Some new gowns and pants and shirt and a pair of shoes. She got a video message from three of her great grandchildren while we were there so I played it for her. It was sweet.

We left about 530 and went back to the facility. I was going to take her clothes home and get rid of the boxes and take the tags off, but I wasn't thinking about making sure they fit first. As it turned out it didn't matter. When she learned what I had planned, to take them home, she said "yeah but you'll get to look at them tonight and I won't." It was heartbreaking to think of her in that room alone on Christmas night without her presents. So I went and got them. She's probably looking through them even now, it's about 8.

In what was surely illegal I made it from mom's facility to Terry's and back to moms house in exactly an hour. Normally it's a 45 minute trip one way, but there was no traffic. Everyone was at Mconalds or Jack in the Box.

We all had a good day in celebration of Christ's birth and I hope you did too whomever you are.

 

 

Christmas Eve, 2011

Ho Ho Ho! Or rather, trick or treat would be more appropriate for today it seems.

I met Linda at 11 at Olive Garden for lunch. They have a new dish with grilled chicken and spinach that has some nasty cheese in it that your teeth will remember forever; or at least until you vigorously brush them again.

After that I picked up some supplies for tomorrow's lunch and then washed the car and checked the mail at the post office.

I went by the house to drop off the food then went to put flowers on dads grave. Terry had called and said mom wanted some cedar on it from the tree at home so I had some of that with me. I called mom and she said to come by and get some flowers out of her room so I did. I put those on the grave then went by and got the staff 3 dozen donuts. 

By now it was after 330.  Mom was in the room snoozing. Brenda had been there this morning and mom didn't see her. She was in the dining room playing bingo. Brenda brought her some candy and a present. I took it with me tonight so she can open it tomorrow. She didn't know the box was there.

I had to deposit a check into the bank and I had to go home to get it so I rolled mom to the dining room at 440 and sat her at the table. I told her I'd be back in a little while.She was snoozing in he room right before we went to the dining room. When I woke her up she said "where's the baby?" I asked her what? She laughed and I said that was about as bad as "where's the beef."

So it was about 535 when I got back and she was still sitting at the table where I left her. She had on a bib and I asked her if she was finished, since most people were gone and her table was empty. She said they had not brought it yet.

I went back to the room for just a few minutes to strategize. It's like a war zone. So I go down the hall and see mom coming out of the dining room and turning toward the lobby. Mrs. Dodgins flags me down and asks me if I would take Oscar back to his room. She said his roommate went out to eat tonight and no one is there to take him. So I went to tell mom what I was doing then went and got Oscar and took him to his room. I saw his scanner over there and we talked about that for a minute. He said there was a power surge a while back and it blew it's regular power but it would sill operate on 12V.

On the way out of his room I saw a cna and asked her if she could get mom a grilled cheese sandwich since mom had said she would be happy with that. So I took mom back to her table and we sat there a while.

Rebbecca came over and said she was sorry she had not notice mom didn't have a tray. She did some research and found out someone put mom down to be gone out tonight and had her mixed up with someone else. They brought her a grilled cheese and a milk and we sat there til she was finished. "No one came by for me to tell them to get me a sandwich" she said. "Tomorrow is Monday" she said. I told her no it was Sunday and Christmas.

We went back to the room and I got her clothes out and some ice water. She thanked me for being there at supper so she could eat.

Another day in the neighborhood.

 

Friday

Mom was smiling and alert when I got to her therapy about 1040 this morning. Dana was helping her again and was asking her to remember things and having her to look in the mirror. She wasn't sitting straight so she asked mom was was wrong with the picture. Mom said posture, and she remembered what she had told her about how to position herself.

Joyce came to pick her up and we went to the facility. I had moms medicaid papers with me for re-certification so she signed those while I was there. She could not see my finger in front of her but managed to basically sign them ok. One signature was really good. Yet she can read the small text scrolling across the tv screen and the little promos they have in the corner really well.

She said they put weights on her legs while she was exercising. Dana said she stood only 30 seconds and was having pain in her arm.

I left the facility and went to the easily-accessible social services building (facetiousness intended) to drop off her paperwork.

I went back over at 5 and she and Donald were in the dining room. I was in the hall talking to Mrs. Neely when Donald suddenly lunged at me and threw his hands up like Frankenstein to scare me. He got a big laugh out of it and I told him that was his Christmas present cause the other one is going back.

Mom came out after not too long. She had took a nap and thought it was tomorrow. She said the therapy yesterday had made her sore. I told her that was today. She seemed ok otherwise but the memory thing was bothering her. "It makes me wonder if I've had another stroke. It's not normal, not remembering it's still today." I met Libby yesterday, the daughter of mom's next door neighbor. I told her I think that spending so much time there alone is causing her to lose touch.

Mom said no one comes to check on her. She slumps over in the chair and no one comes to check. She could be dead for hours and no one would know.

We recorded some Christmas greetings to Erin and the kids and to Dave in Canada and to Facebook. Denise from work had sent her a flashing earring and she was wearing that.