It's a Gregorious Life

About This Blog

This blog changed on July 7th 2006, the day my mom experienced a stroke. It was not a massive one but the invasive procedure to save her life resulted in a severe damage, equating to a massive stroke. She has been at two rehab facilities and and has been at her present rehab/nursing facility since October 31 2006. She likes it there but as most people her age she sometimes gets upset about it, and those thoughts are reflected here. They are not a reflection of the facility, which has always remained anonymous to protect the privacy of the staff and her fellow residents. Mom has often said though that she is glad she is there and have we all. The staff is dedicated like no other that I have seen. Mom is equally dedicated to walking again.

Thursday

My boss let me leave a little early so I could sit on the porch with mom while it was still warm. She met me in the lobby and we went outside.

She said they did therapy in her room the past two days and are recording it. I told her we won't stop it this time even if they do.

Johnson and Wales University students came and prepared omelets for lunch. She said she couldn't taste the cheese though. But she did like them. Mrs. Petty stopped by and said her mother ate a whole one even though she kept saying she wasn't hungry.

She was a little disturbed that she hadn't talked to anyone today and she had heard the doctor going from room to room but he didn't stop to see her. She's not taking the breathing treatments anymore. She sounded better but said she still rattles "when I exert myself, going down the hall."

David and Pat went over later.

Wednesday

Donald rolled mom out to the lobby not long after I got there today after work. Lisa had seen her at lunch and she had some cherry cobbler. She didn't talk a lot about supper tonight.

She had her hair done today. I went by this morning and paid Amy for this month and next.

She said Pam came and they did exercises. She said she had those examples in a neat folder where they would not get torn up, and had a sheet where she can keep up with what they do.She said the burn on her leg still hurts. Donald wondered if it was psoriasis.

Terry and Mandy came by after lunch, and mom said some ladies from moms church brought her a new shawl to wear. She had it with her and put it on.

She said the Kings Messengers were supposed to be there there later tonight. She asked Donald what he played this morning. He said something about a title that had to do with Hawaii.

Tuesday

David and Pat went over in the evening. It had been a long day so I told them to tell her I was going home. I had called her about 715 and Pat answered.

Monday

Mom saw Will and his parents today. She seemed ok.

 

Error.

 

 

The Weekend, February 17-19

Mom and Donald were in the lobby when I got there Friday with Drake. She said she had done therapy on her own in her room earlier.

She said Ronnie had come to see her. David and Pat came in and stayed a while. Lisa also stopped by while we were all out there.

Saturday I went by at suppertime. David and Wendy and everyone had been by earlier. She said they sat on the porch a little while. A nurse had come to giver her her medicine and said she had a new pill. Mom wanted to know what it was for and she said it was for depression. "I had that fit about going home the other day... and that's why they did it." She said David and Pat told her to try it for a week and see if she liked it. She said she didn't want to get started on that.

I asked her if she took it anyway. "No I didn't take it. I haven't gotten down to that level yet" she said. "I've got more to live for than that."

Then she looked at me and said "do I seem like a depressed person to you?" I said no not usually but sometimes. Immediately she said "well WHO isn't!"

She had a breathing machine there so she's started treatment for her wheezing. Batchies preacher had come by and she talked to Terry finally on the phone.

Sunday I went by at lunch and we had lunch in her room. I brought pot roast with potatoes, carrots and onions, biscuits and strawberry jam. We had come cookies for dessert. I left her when she started her breathing treatment as I needed to go to the restroom anyway. We did manage to get in some exercising before that though.

I went back over at supper time. David and everyone had been by again, and Terry had come by too. She hung up the clothes I had brought back earlier and had to leave until my return because of the bathroom thing.

Pat brought some chocolate cake and left it. Mom and I talked and she was mentioning Pat's shoes and said that in the old days Belk used to x-ray your foot when you bought a new pair of shoes to be sure they were not hurting your foot. I had never heard of that and mom said it was long long ago. I went to ask Wilma if she had heard of it and she remembered it too and why they stopped it.

 

Thursday

Mom was in the room doing exercises on her own when I got there after work.

All was not as well as it would seem however. "I got sick and tired of everything and went up there and laid it out to Julia" she said. "I asked her what do I have to do to get out of here?" She said she told her she would call David. "I didn't want her to do that!" she said.

I told her everything is going well and to keep it up, that the devil was trying to get her riled up, sorta like the politicians do with the left and the right. She said she was just frustrated because if we're going to have to do the therapy ourselves "I can do that at home". She seemed ok after that and we went to visit Wilma down the hall for a few minutes.

They complemented each other's hair and WIlma said she almost got thrown under the sink because there's an incline in the floor just in front of it.

 

Wednesday

I took moms clothes over and put those up while she finished eating. She and her brother were in the lobby when I got back out there.

She filled out a birthday card and did pretty well. She didn't mention anything about being sore or tired from yesterday. We filled out her menu too. She had her perm today and had on one of her new outfits so I got her smile for a photo.

We talked about how well she was doing and looking and she said "let this be a lesson, if you ever get in the shape I'm in don't give up, keep fighting, keep on keepin on" she said smiling.

Her brother then offered his own wisdom on the topic. He told her to take one day at a time. I told him if he took two at a time he'd be 160 years old by now.

Tuesday

Mom had a busy day. I picked her up a little before 2, just as they were getting ready to have a Valentines party there. Jennifer had gone to the room to take mom to it but mom told her I was supposed to be coming to get her. She called me just as all this was happening, and didn't hear me when I responded because that's when Jennifer walked in. I was in the car (Tribeca to Donald) almost there.

We headed to the dentist and they took her back shortly after two. When they were finished she got out of the chair and into her wheelchair on her own. It was another amazing sight. They said though that she needs three teeth pulled and are sending her to Dr. Jamison, the doctor that did my wisdom teeth surgery so well. Then she has to go back there the next month to have some cavities filled.

We left there and went to her brothers to work on his computer. She stayed in the car and he visited with her out there while I tried to do something but ended up bringing it home. We left there and went by the grave to see the flowers Terry had put on it. The wind have blown the vase sideways and something has took a hunk of the metal out of it and damaged it so I may call the office about that.

After that we headed to my office. "I have fun with you" she said. That was funny. We went in there and I did a few things and she hung around and talked to everyone. She had gotten in and out of the car really well all day so she had a good workout.

She wanted a "real" hamburger so we went to Wendys at 5 and got a Carolina Classic and some chili on the way back. Pat came in about 540 and was still there when I left at 625. I had her some chocolates and a card for Valntines Day and Pat brought her some dark chocolate that she likes.

Monday

Mom seemed to have a good Monday. She and Donald were in the lobby when I got there after work. I immediately directed us to her room to do exercises.

We spent about 25 minutes doing some of the exercises in her guide. We didn't spend more time because she got a workout yesterday and will again tomorrow going to the dentist.

She did them well though. She seems renewed in her determination. She said a nurse had listened to her lungs and didn't hear anything. She was still wheezing but we went to the lobby after the exercising and had some coffee with her Valentines biscuits Terry brought her yesterday and that seemed to break it up.

Bingo started at 645 and they were going to join that when I left just before 7.

 

The Weekend, February 10th-12th

Mom was wheezing sitting in the lobby with her brother when I got there after work. I asked her how her day was. She said it was ok then added "it was the people in it that were the problem."

She had bbq for supper but said she didn't like it. Donald said she was struggling to get her milk open when he got there. No one was helping. The administrator was in her office and could hear what he was saying if she was paying attention, but she didn't say anything when she left except goodnight.

She said Betty had gone home earlier in the day. "Yeah one of my buddies is gone again." She asked about Wilma and remembered her last name too.

Saturday Terry spent lunch and the afternoon with mom. She brought her some pretty Valentines roses and got some arrangement for dads grave. She was leaving with Mandy when I got there. I had stopped to see Wilma and saw them going down the hall and was able to say goodbye.

Mom said my coworker Lisa, Wilma's niece, had brought mom some jewelery of her mother's earlier. She was wearing a necklace and a matching bracelet. She said she brought several items. She said she met Terry too. Terry went to see the staff about moms therapy and wheezing. They gave her some Robitussin.

She said Terry had went with her to the dining room earlier to hear some singing. I told her Drake barked after I left to come over there. I heard him as I got in the car. "Tell him I said to grow up" she laughed.

She looked at the roses Terry had brought her and said there were some buds on there not opened. I told her I didn't see them. "I know my buds when I see them" she said. I called her about 9 to tell her about Whitney Houston's death but didn't get an answer. David told me Sunday she had picked up the phone and I wasn't there so she fussed at me a while.

Sunday Mandy and Terry went over after church. I went by a little after 12 and picked mom up. She got into the Tribeca as smooth as silk, pushing herself back in the seat and getting her legs inside 200% better than the last time she got in it, about 4 months ago.

We went by KFC and Terry and Mandy joined us at moms house for lunch. We had quite the feast. Then Pat called and said she had made mom a Valentines cake, so she and David brought that and some coffee over about 145.

She had a great time. Everyone gave Drake some treats from the table, including some icing from the cake.

We went to her room after everyone left and read the diary for Valentines day 1941. She was talking about Jim Moody. "Well so long..." it ended. She got a big laugh out of it and said "I know how to end things don't I!" Drake jumped on the bed after that and put on quite the fight performance for mom, biting my hand pretty well several times in the process. "Well he's a dog" she said.

She wanted to go back to the facility to go to the bathroom so we went back about 3.

What was so cool was when she got in the Tribeca to go back. I had orginally planned to take her back ("put her up", to you Donald) in her car because at the facility I park next to the curb and that makes up for the extra height of the Tribeca when she gets in. At home there is no curb so it has been harder for her to get in there at at other places without help from at least two people. But she got into it so well I decided to see. Amazingly, she was able to stand high enough on her own to get into it with little help, and pull up and scoot back on her own. That would not have been possible without that therapy. So I told her when we went back tonight that I would try to help her with those exercises three times a week so they are done and she doesn't regress.

I went back to see her about 550 and she was in the room. I looked at her plate in the dining room and she had stew beef and ham and cabbage but had not eaten much. She said she wasn't hungry after all that chicken.

She hadn't had any Robitussen today so I went to ask if they'd give her some. They came in there just before I left at 7 and gave it to her. She was happy and hopefully will sleep well tonight.

Thursday

Mom was quietly sitting in her room when I got there about 7. She had the lights off except for that dim one on the table. She looked good though and said she didn't sleep through supper.

She was upset though about therapy, though she said she had practiced her exercises on and off all day. She said she was disappointed in people that hadn't helped her like they said they would. I told her I wished she would go out and visit people in other rooms and try to cheer them up instead of sitting there all day being mad. I told her shake the sand off her shoes and move on. " I have to defend myself" she said, adding, "besides it would make a mess in here."

She got a card today from the Gaddis's. I told her ran into Barbara Street at the store. She said her sister Gladys who used to work at Temple with David was hit in the back last month in her car and is in the hospital not expected to live.

Mom said Betty is going home tomorrow. "I get used to someone and the leave or die" she said. I brought her a dark chocolate donut for tomorrow. She said they win an extra quarter tomorrow at bingo if they wear red.

She had written a lot of a card and said it was some meanness that she wrote the other day. I

I told her I had to go let Drake out. "I lost my son to a dog" she said, shaking her head laughing; "I could write a book."

 

Wednesday

Mom and Donald were in the lobby when I got there. She was in a good mood.

She said she was asleep and Mr. Carpenter came in and woke her up and took her to the dining room. He stopped by later and told me she thought it was morning, again, and wondered aloud if she was being overmedicated.

David and Pat came by about 10 til 7. They were nice enough to bring me a call in order I called in to them at Cracker Barrel. Located thanks to the iphone lol.

Tuesday

Mom was in the room with the door shut when I got there after work. She seemed ok but started talking about therapy and said she was going to march down there tomorrow and demand to know why they won't give her therapy.

But she said Pam came in yesterday and helped her do some of those of the sheets that the other facility gave her that I enlarged for her to be able to see. We filled out her menu.

She said that wasn't enough. What bothers her is that "i'm not welcome like the rest of them" that are there for therapy.

To that end we went to see my co-worker Lisa's aunt Wilma who is as of today just around the corner from mom. Mom has one of the butterflies she made on her board in the room.

We visited with them for a few minutes. Mom thought it was tomorrow. Lisa told her it's whatever you want it to be.

I'm gonna accept that and move on.

To tomorrow.

 

Monday

What a difference a day makes. Mom and Donald were in the lobby when I got there and she was in a good mood. She was wearing some new beads and a bracelet that Terry brought her yesterday.

We sat and talked and laughed and Mr. Carpenter and his mother joined us and joined in the festivities.It was mainly silly stuff but anything is better than yesterday. I was talking about how Drake has no fat on him and can twirl around in a circle and stick his rear end up at the same time. I said I could do that too if I was that slim. Mom said "I don't want to see that. Get that out of your system before I get home."

Donald and Mr. Carpenter compared shoe styles.

She was wanting some of Brewers birthday cake. I told her I'd like some too if Pat brings her some.

 

Saturday and Sunday

Moms Saturday seemed to go well enough. She said Mr. Carpenter and his mom ate lunch with her. I got there while she was eating supper, and told her I'd see her in the room. She had BBQ and baked beans, but didn't eat it all because she wasn't hungry.

When she told me that when she got to the room I told her I guessed that meant she didn't want the apple turnover I'd brought. "That's different" she said. I ignored it a while but she brought it up again so I gave it to her.

She got a lot of it all over her pants but she puttered over and cleaned it off perfectly before I could do so."Ruth thinks you're real nice" she said. I told her I really had her fooled.

She said thinks Terry is coming over Sunday. "Throw the old dog a bone" she said, laughing, glad for the anticipated visit.

Pat sent a photo of Brewer's birthday cake because mom said she wanted to see it so I showed her that. Pat said she had called mom earlier and woke her up. She said she was confused and frustrated. She called back while I was there.

She said the top she had on was real loud. She was concerned someone would look in the window and see her. I told her it would be in the paper tomorrow probably: "Loud top seen on retired woman through the window." She said she wanted to get a hen and a rooster to put in the dog pen when she gets home. I told her if I went outside in the morning and saw them in there I'd know she was back.

Sunday was totally different. It started out similar, with her still eating when I got there. I didn't stop in so as not to interrupt her and give her an excuse to stop. When she came into the room she stopped at the door.

"You're lucky to have a momma today, Greg" she said, loudly and with force. I knew the jig was up.

I asked her why. She said "because I could have went out the door and left." She claimed to have slept in her chair all night, that no one had looked in on her at all or thrown a blanket over her, and she was wearing, she said, the same clothes as Sunday. I told her it was still Monday. She disagreed, said she had a hamburger for breakfast and didn't know why they singled her out to treat her that way.

It was a disturbing pity party that I didn't get an invitation to and was glad to depart immediately. But I stayed. She stayed in the doorway and kept lambasting the place. I felt helpless as what to say. I knew the old standbys to change the subject, like how was your day, did you see anyone today, were not going to work.

Then I remembered she had said Terry was coming today so I asked her if she had seen her. She brightened up and said she and Mandy came by at lunch and stayed a while. That got her in a little better mood. She signed Vance and Brewers birthday cards. I wasn't going to bring them up at first. I finally asked her, I said I know you're in a bad mood but I have these cards to you want to do them now or have me bring them back? They were already late so I'm glad she did them. She said she couldn't see what she was doing though.

I left about 640. I told her to have a good night. "Good night? I just got up."

Friday

Drake seemed to have his mojo back this morning when we got up, so at lunch I took him back with me to the office.

After work we went over to moms and went to the lobby. She and Donald were there. Drake was glad to see them both and got on both of their laps.

Mom said Pat came by earlier and David was coming by but she left for therapy before he got there. She said therapy was great and she stood up and turned on the faucet at the sink, but that they told her they would not pay for anymore so that was it, that she was on her own. We told her that maybe that was all that was approved and David would get more approved but we don't know. She seems pretty sure that was all. They gave her a list of exercises to do there. I don't know who's supposed to help her with them. The gnomes living under the bed maybe?

I asked her how her day was on a scale of 1-10 and she said based on what her therapists told her it was a 10. So that was good. She was tired though and dozed off with us all right there.

 

Thursday

Mom was in the bathroom when I went by after work. That took up about 10 minutes of my abbreviated Tues/Thurs visit.

She said she was bored since no one had been by today and had took a nap after supper. She was thinking it was morning again. I kept reminding her and she's say "oh yeah".

She said they were having some love stories at 2pm, where people were supposed to share their personal stories. "No that you" she told me. "I'll keep those to myself" she said as she smiled.

She had her gown on and was very tired and lethargic.

Wednesday

Mom was in a good mood. Pat had helped her into her gown last night and she had her hair done today. Batchie called or was here, I forgot. I think she was there. Some children were there to sing earlier and she liked her supper.

Tuesday

It was a 7pm night at work so I went by moms just for a minute. I dropped off her hairdressers check then started down the hall but mom was in the dining room listening to some singing so I left.

Pat called later and she and David were there. Mom had spotted me and was wondering where I went. So they were able to confirm the rumored sighting was true.

Monday

Mom and Donald were in the lobby when I got there after work. Have I said that before?

So she was in a good mood. She said the guy who did her therapy today told her "that I've improved 2 something in my movement" in her legs. She said she he examined her muscles and joints and told her she was doing great. So hopefully they will continue her therapy. If that had done that a long time ago she would be walking now more than likely.

She had went to therapy at 3. Her brother said she was in the room waiting to go to the bathroom when he got there at 5.

Pat came in about 630. Mom was glad to see her.

I forgot to post a photo of Donald's camouflaged shoes last week. I think. Maybe I did. But here they are again. Amazing that they can be seen.

The Weekend, January 27, 28, 29 2012

Mom seemed to have a pretty good weekend, staying pretty coherent and alert.

Friday she and Donald were in the lobby when I got there. She had therapy that morning and took a nap after lunch and thought it was another day, that was the only negative part. She said she had been on the phone with Batchie and was so tired she thinks she hung up on her. "I remember I went out in the hall asking people what day it was."

Saturday I went over about 1230 and took her a bo berry biscuit from McDonald's and some coffee which she had after lunch. We sat out on the porch for a while and she got some sun. She said Terry called from Gatlinburg. I left about 130 to get get stuff to fix Misha's grave with.

I went back after supper and she had took a nap but it had not messed up her days. She had a lot, pot pie and salad and diet banana pudding. She had asked for some shea butter lotion so I had gotten that while I was out but forgot to bring it in. When I went to get it David and Pat had just drove up.

Sunday I went over at 5 and told her I had an apple pie for her if she ate all her supper. She had stew beef over rice and some tomatoes and okra, no dessert.

I met her in the hall on the way to the room and gave her a lift. She liked the apple pie. She said she had a blister on her leg from sitting in the sun yesterday and the nurse had drained it for her. Terry called again. Lowell Presbyterian Church played bingo with them today but she didn't know until the last minute and didn't go. We were watching tv and she saw someone from Johnson and Wales in Charlotte and said they were the ones that fixed the omelette's the other morning.

She wants to read her diary next time she goes home. She said she should keep one now. "I have so many interesting things going on" she said, as she shook her head from side to side and closed her eyes.

We were watching Food Network and Taylor Dayne is on one of the shows. I looked up and played this song for mom; it's so beautiful and amazing and even though it's more than 20 years old Taylor still looks the same. It's a song that I really like and I dare you to click the link and watch the whole thing and not be moved. Mom listened to it and really liked her voice.

Then I heard a noise. I said was that your stomach or a car? Mom said it was her stomach. We laughed but I still think it was maybe a sound from a neighbor's tv. I hope so anyway because it was loud enough to be quite concerning.

Thursday

My boss let me leave early at 6. My sinuses had been bothering me all day.

This morning I had a dream that I was sitting on the porch at mom's facility and she and dad drove up. They both got out of the car and mom was on a walker. They were getting back from therapy. When she got to the end of the sidewalk and stepped off onto the pavement she fell face forward onto the driveway. I could see her raise up her head and she was crying like a baby. It was so horrible. I ran to her and as soon as I got there she hopped up and grabbed her walker again. I said "momma you can stand up good!"

So I told her about that tonight. I said maybe it's a good sign her therapy will work. She's not looking forward to it at 9 in the morning but she's not opposed to it either.

She said resident council was today and she asked them "why am I going over there to get therapy when you could do it here?" She said they told her that her family had arranged it and she said no they hadn't. They when I reminded her tonight that we did she said "I know that."

They had omelets this morning and she loved it. She said the cheese was stringy and they cut them up with a big knife.

She got a card from both Emma and Erin each today. Terry and Mandy came by and showed her a photo of Michah opening her card. I showed it to her on my phone too from the email Melody sent me last night.

So with the visits and cards she said "today was my big day." She was in a good mood.

Wednesday

The usual suspects were in the lobby when I got there after work. Donald had a cross he had made me for Misha's grave. Mom had took a nap and said she woke up and went down to have fish, hush puppies, turnip greens, potatoes and jello. She thought it was breakfast.

Donald brought up the nonsense some people have of saying the President was born in a foreign country. I told him some people do not think there's a moon out there either. Then I asked Siri on my phone to send him to the moon. She promptly generated a "to" message that said "The moon" but said she didn't know who my uncle was.

Mom almost got upset about it thinking she really was going to send him to the moon. "You shouldn't mess with that Greg" she said, referring to the technology behind it. I told her it can't do anything like that.

She said she watched the State of The Union speech last night. "I feel all the way different about him. I think God put him in there. He's smart." Then she commented on how he was born in another country and came here and reminded us of our heritage. I guess I should send her to the moon with her brother.

Speaking of him, when I got there they both said some couple had passed by and asked them how long they had been married. Mom said she's not sure if they ever got them straightened out or not.

Drake went in the kitchen tonight and I barked like a big dog. He came running in here and thought it was outside. After some watch dogging he tired out and laid down on the sofa.

Tuesday

Mom was fat and sassy when I went by tonight after work.

In my 20 minutes there I learned:

-she already had her shower and her gown was on and the bed changed.

- she was eating a very good smelling chocolate cookie.

-her pastor and wife came by to see her today. She said he told her a lot of the people she had known there had died. She said she wished I could talk to them. I told her she had just talked to them. She said yeah but they need to talk to a Jordan. I said well they just talked to you. She said I mean a male Jordan like Andrew. I told her I'd put a stamp on her so she'd be mail. "Where are you going to send me, the Outer Banks?" she said as she laughed.

- Therapy went well she said he acts like she should stand up already and wash her hands.

- she said another tooth chipped off Sunday. I told her I need to get her to the dentist it's overdue.

-I forgot again to tell her they are tearing the old water tower down at Rex # 1.

And then I left. When I got home Drake was not there. Not at the door anyway. He's never not met me at the door or come running toward it. I shut the door and called him and he still didn't come. Finally I walked into the living room and called him and he was on the sofa just getting up. He must have really been tired. With Misha just checking out last week it scared me to death.

Monday

Mom was in a great mood when I got there after work today. She and her brother were in the lobby and she was literally pretty in pink. I told her it looked like an Easter outfit almost.

Ron and his mother came by and talked a while. Mom was smiling and laughing and excited about therapy coming up tomorrow. She said she would have preferred to have worn that outfit tomorrow for therapy.

Drake is still looking for Misha everywhere. He just jumped down from the sofa where she sat sometimes.

Saturday and Sunday

I took Donald and Bertie an All-American Dog from Sonic on my way to see mom. He was feeling better. He said he may make Misha a cross on Monday.

Mom was in the dining room but had just finished so we headed to the room. David and Pat came in not too much later. Mom said she played bingo this morning and won a quarter and there were some singers there at two that she enjoyed.

I went over Sunday a little earlier about 345. She was in the bathroom. We stayed in the room and talked until I took her to supper at 450. The food was already out. I went to get some gas and run an errand.

When I got back about 520 she was already in the room and David and Pat were there. I stopped by and looked at her plate in the dining room on my way and it was barely touched. Stew beef looked so good I amost ate it myself. Pat said she had eaten all of her carrot cake. Mom said she ate all of the stew beef that she wanted. We told her she needed to eat it all for the protein. I don't remember checking carrot cake on her menu anyway, but maybe I did.

David confirmed she has therapy sheduled again for the next two weeks.

Friday

Mom was sitting in her room in a good mood when I got there after work. Donald wasn't there so he must still not be feeling well. We hope he gets better soon.

She said she had a workout at therapy. "They worked me out" she said, adding that Dana told her she did really well again. "They were amazed how well I could pull up so good" she said. "I'd recommend that place to anyone."

She said she missed bingo because of the therapy but that was ok. She had me look into a white note on the board. It was telling us that we need to tell Anita if mom wants to see the podiatrist on February 8th.

She said they have her on the schedule for next week at the therapy place and that they gave Joyce a copy. She said she would get a copy from her Monday.

Drake got out of the doghouse at lunch and contolled himself the rest of the day. I think he's on the track to recovery too.

Thursday

I had lunch with Linda at Longhorn (salmon mmmm) then went home later to let Drake out and bury Misha. I buried her in the field, where I can put up a marker later.

Mom called me as I was on my way back. She just wanted to know how I was and how the day was going. She said hers was ok.

I went over after work. She was in the room with the door closed trying to put on her gown. I called for backup and the CNA came in and helped her.

They were playing bingo in the dining room. I asked her why she hadn't gone. She said she had forgotten about it. "I done got my quarter this week anyway.

She wrote in Michah's birthday card and said "I wish I could see his eyes when he opens it." I told her I would ask Melody to take a photo. It has monkeys on it and makes monkey noises when you open it.

David and Pat came in and we all visited a while. I left a little after 730 to go let Drake out, who even now his behavior is keeping him in the doghouse.

Wednesday

Misha died last night shortly after my last post. I thought she was sick on her stomach, but evidently it was a heart attack. She exhibited the same symptoms near the end that Jager had when she was diagnosed. It all happened so fast it still doesn't seem real. Drake is, as I type this,  walking around the house looking for her.

Mom was in her room alone when I got there about 545. She said Donald thinks he is catching a cold so he didn't come. She never got her shower last night either because of the thunderstorm. She declined, and they told her they'd give it to her today. She had her bag out.

She had a good therapy session today. It was with some new girl. "She had stretched everything in me when it was done with." She said she asked her "did I make an A and she said yes I did, that I had done real good." She's been in a good frame of mind for about a week now. Not lethargic or sleepy, very conversational and cognitive, like the old mom.

She had some tomatoes on the table that Batchie had brought her yesterday. Mr. Carpenter stopped by her table at supper tonight, and was going to cut up her ham but a cna beat him to it. She said she hadn't even seen the ham. I told her she needs to look around that plate me, because another time she had ham I cut it up for her and she didn't know it was on her plate until I mentioned it.

I told her about Misha. "We don't have good luck with cats do we?" she said, referring to Dexter's disappearance, Jager's death and now Misha. I told her no. It reminded her of when dad was sick. She said he would get mad at her for trying to help. "I prayed to God, I just don't know what to do." She said she had to take it to Him. She was a little choked up.

She asked me to take her poinsettia with me when I left which I did. We did her menu. Someone called just as I was leaving. "Sorry about your cat" she said as I left.

Tuesday

I had to work in Spartanburg Tuesday and didn't get back in town til 630. I went by the office then home. Drake still has dysentary and now Misha is sick. Mom called while I was trying to deal with it all. I told her I'd call her back. I did and David was there. I told him to tell her I'd see her tomorrow.

 

Monday

Mom and Donald were in the lobby when I got there after work.

Continuing what has become fashion week, she was wearing a new outfit today too. It was a pretty pink sweatshirt with matching corduroy pants.

I told her she looked good and she said she couldn't see it. I asked her if she didn't look at it in the mirror. "I can just see my head, and that doesn't look good" she said as she laughed.

I asked her what her day had been like and she drew a big zero in the air and said "you know what a zero is don't you?"

Some singers were there for Martin Luther King Jr. day and she did enjoy that, even admitting as much. "They could really sing, they had beautiful voices" she said.

Donald was talking to one of the residents relatives on her way out and he ran to the door to let them back in when they came back. I acted like I was calling 911 to report someone about to jump someone outside. Mom protested. Donald said it would tickle me to death to see his photo in lockup. Mom said "he doesn't want to go through that just to tickle you."

Mr. Carpenter stopped and talked about 20 minutes on his way out. He said he had written a letter about the therapy situation for his mom and now that she was back she was getting therapy regularly. He finally left and as I was leaving mom told Donald "that was quite a conversation wasn't it."

 

Sunday

Drake and I lounged around most of the day except for when I went out for lunch. Mom was in the room when I got there about 540. She said she had a good supper with sweet potatoes again. She had on one of her new outfits. I told her it looked good on her and she said someone else had told her that too today.

She said Terry had called and they talked a long time. Pat came in while I was there and was there when I left. She was going to help her put her gown on later. Mom really enjoys that.

 

Saturday

Today was a day of recovery, from being gone for three days and two nights. Drake and Misha were exhausted too, choosing to share my sleeping sickness for much of the day.

I did mange to rise though and cleaned up the house, something I started yesterday by vacuuming before Drake got home.

I went to moms at 515 was she was in the hall and Terry was coming out of the bathroom. So we went to the room and Terry showed me a ton of new clothes she had gotten mom today.

She picked her out a new outfit for tomorrow. Mom was in a good mood, cracking jokes and things. I was tracking David and Pat who were in Charlotte according to the map. I lost sense of time though when Mandy came in and started going through more things in the closet. Next I know I looked on the map and they were there- distance 0 miles. No sooner had I gotten out of my mouth that they were in the building they walked in.

I mentioned mom had asked if I had took my breathing apparatus with me to the meeting and Pat remarked that at least she had not referred to it as "that old thing" which was an inside joke between her and mom from a while back. Mom had not forgotten and was laughing and cutting up.

So it was me, Mandy and Terry, David and Pat and mom. "I have to call Donald and tell him I found my watch it was in my shower bag" she said.

There was a banana on the table and mom, because of the noise, said "they'll think we're having a party in here, with a banana; the dessert's a banana" she laughed.

They all left about 640 and I left about 7 after getting her some water.

 

Friday

The meeting was over with as scheduled at 1130 this morning. But I spent over 20 minutes in the parking decking waiting to be able to pull out of my space.

Still it was a short day. I went by the office and handled a couple small crisis then went to pick up Drake. I had gone home to vacuum first so as not to further traumatize him.

He was scared as he came out of the back of the doctors office, staring straight through the front door and not even seeing me, I had to call out to him. Then he was glued to the side of my face.

We got on the road and he was glad to get home. I went to moms about 515 and she was soon in the lobby. She was still glowing about therapy yesterday, saying how Colin was excited and that "I don't think he thought I could do it", referring to standing up out of the bed. "He was excited, I think he even clapped his hands" she said. She talked about him working on the muscles. "To him it's like opening a door" she said.

Donald got a new car so I went to check it out. It's loaded to the hilt, a new Matrix S with navigation and everything. I came back in and I saw Bertie was calling. I thought she was calling him so I handed him the phone. Then when I heard feedback, I realized it was him calling me. Shame shame shame. We had a good laugh though and mom was in a really good mood.Donald acted like he didn't know what the fire alarm button was and was going to pull it. Just as he touched it I gabbed moms leg and made a buzzing sound. She laughed and asked him to please not pull it "this is my home" she said. He's obviously got some meanness in him now that he's got the new car.

Oh and he said he was the one who took the photo of Linda and Dad. He said he used to make those types of pictures all the time.

 

Thursday

Called mom about 8. She said Colin told her at therapy that she is doing great. She was excited about it.

Wednesday

I'm exhausted. I called mom after the meeting about 640. She was in the room with Donald so I didnt keep her. She was in a good mood and asked me about the meeting and where I had left Drake. I told her he is at the kennel.
I just got back from the evening meal and I ate too much but I have to go to bed because I am so tired. And this is a wonderful bed too. God bless.
Here's a photo from my friend Kaye at the meeting and tonight I saw this photo of my cuz Linda and my dad- he was always a photography buff! It looks like she's holding him up! I wonder who took the photo.

Tuesday

Mom called me this morning to see what time her therapy was going to be today. I told her I thought it was at 2 but I wasn't sure. Donald was going to check last night when they got to the room but she probably forgot what he told her.

I got over there about 530 and she was still eating. She had some yummy stewed tomatoes and okra, and diet chocolate pudding.

She came out of the dining room about 545. She came through the doors closest to the lobby. She said Mrs. Carpenter was back, that she had fell and hurt her hip. She spoke to her on her way out.

She had a new cushion that they put in her chair at the therapy place. I think Pat took it over there for her. Mom said "I can scoot back better with it" then she demonstrated it. She said it felt a lot better too.

We went back to the room as she waited on a shower. Her tv remote had broken so I found some tape and put it back together.

While we were in the lobby I noticed a horrible burn on her neck. She said it happened last Wednesday when she was having her hairs done. A hot roller fell down and burned her neck. I asked her if anyone reported it and she said "Julia's been taking care of it." I don't know if anyone called us or not. It looks bad but mom said it didn't hurt. It's had almost a week to heal. I told her to be careful with it tomorrow.

 

Monday

Mom was in a good mood and sitting with her brother in the lobby when I got there a little after 530. She said the braces they put on her legs at night make her tired though. I asked her if she knew when they give her pain medicine and she said it was all at one time.

She was asking about her therapy and what time it was going to be. Donald was going to check the schedule when they got to the room.

She said "I don't have the spistoranctum to take exercise." I guess she meant at that moment. I showed them this video of a talking dog. Mom suggested Donald and Bertie rescue a dog like Drake. "We'd have to get rid of the cat" he told her.

I brought her some chocolate almond chunks because she said her chocolate went missing. She was good and only ate one piece.  When I left I told them not to have a head on in the hall. Then I said they already had two heads on between them.

 

Saturday and Sunday

Drove to Richmond yesterday in about 4 1.2 hours. Drake did the ride pretty well and was ok once he met everyone.

We all went out to eat (Drake stayed at the house) and called mom on the way about 645. She sounded really good on the speakerphone. She said Batchie's preacher Huffstetler and his assistant Jonathon had been by to see her. She also said someone from Temple had been by but the way I heard it she was not in the room when they were there.

Terry and I left at 1215 today and got back at 445, that was after 2 stops so we made good time. Drake was the perfect puppy. Mom was in the dining room looking very spry waiting on her food. Her hairs looked like they had just been fixed.

I  left Terry with her and took Drake home then went back and took Terry some bbq for supper. Mandy had already been to see mom once today and was coming to get Terry later.

Mom said Tim and Michelle had stopped by earlier. She said they told her they had so many people trying to get into church that they had to turn them away. Mom said "that sounds strange. I think I would have at least let them stand at the door outside or something." It was probably a fire department regulation.

I left her and Terry there about 645 having a good talk. David and Pat were on their way in to see her. I passed them in the hall and spoke a while. They had her laundry with them.

Friday

Mom had therapy this morning at 9. She said David called and reminded her. I talked to him and he said she was not happy about the early time.

When I got there about 530 she and Donald were in the lobby. She had what looked like chocolate on her lip, then after trying to wipe it off with a wet towel we determined she had scratched herself and it was dried blood. Later she tried to remove it and it came off. Then I thought I saw some blood forming again. "It's the shadow of a hair!" she laughed as she protested. And so it was what we originally thought.

She won five quarters at bingo. They had unlimited winnings allowed at 2pm. She said there was excitement at supper, as someone turned over Ruth's drink.

She said therapy went well. She had the schedule for the rest of the month on the table in her room. David said the room across from her is larger and was empty today but when I got there it was occupied.

Bertie sent mom a sweater for her bear. It fit furfectly. Donald found a note on the Janurary calendar in memory of Chuck, who died the other month. His mom is still there.

Donald and I both left at 712. I tried to cut through the dining room and get ahead of him but ran to catch up and beat me anyway.

Thursday

Mom was just getting to the room when I got there at 530.

She said she had just got back from breakfast. I told her it was supper. I brought her some hummingbird cake that my old supervisor had made. She loved it. "This is a great start to the day" mom said.

I said it's the end not the start. She said she knew that. But two minutes later she said about being supper time "is it?" She had forgotten that quick.

It bothered her. "I wonder if this is a mental condition. I never did this at home, forgetting what time it was." I saddens me but I told her the truth that today I thought it was Friday until lunch.

I told her I had a dream this morning about her therapy, that she had walked almost by herself to the transport van. I told her I hoped it was a sign she would be making good progress.

I left about 640. Pat texted me later that they were over there.

Wednesday

Pat met mom after therapy was over at 4. I asked mom when I got to the facility at 530 what she had done that day.

She said her knees and legs are really stiff and they're focusing on them. She wanted to know why Pat or me or David needed to be there when it was over. I told her in case they had instructions for the week.

"I ain't got so feeble that I can't repeat what they say to me" she said. Donald said she was sitting at the supper table without anything to drink. He got her some milk.

She said someone told her preacher Webber said he can't come over there any more. She didn't have details. She said Joyce took her to therapy but another lady came to get her. "I feel more like a hot potato every day" she mused.

Back in the room I went over the "you're not my momma" thing from the other day and realized that there's a very old children's book called Are you my mother or something like that. Let me look. Yeah here it is.

Donald and I tried to get her to smile for a photo. "Most every morning I wake up with a song in my chest" she said. "I don't sing it so as not to wake anyone up."

Tuesday

I called mom about 3 to see how her therapy had went. She said David had called and let her know it is tomorrow not today.

I went over after work a little after 7 and she was brushing her teeth. Her sweater was half on and half off, and her pants were pulled up to her neck. I don't know why the people there can't see that when they help her dress or finish up in the bathroom. If it was their mother they wouldn't leave them like that. Or maybe they would.

Anyway she was feeling bad about stuff. She said "I used to have a day to go to church or to wash or go to the grocery store, now there's nothing. There ain't no use to make no plans because they don't work out." Well happy new year to you too. I tried to encourage her but it's hard.

She said Terry called earlier.

Monday

David and Pat went over to moms at lunch and took her a happy meal. They said she enjoyed it. I saw Alvin on the table in her room later. She told me about it when I got over there. "See how happy I am" she said as she laughed.

Batchie and Rudy came in while they were there. Rudy told David about a machine that he could use to help his back. By the time I went to their house about 3 to pick up some nutroll they had the machine and Pat was assembling it.

I went to moms about 330. She said Brenda had been there and had just left. She brought her some more treats, just a few chocolate coconut balls.

A cna came in to bring her some fresh water and mom told her she was being lazy. The cna said she gave mom permission to be lazy. Since I was sitting there mom said "I have a witness you said that." She was in a really good mood but was obsessed about finding the blouse that Brenda had gotten her for Christmas.

I looked in the closet but it wasn't there. I told her it must be in the wash.

We went to the dining room a little before 5 and I waited in the lobby. Her brother came up about 5. I had already gotten her milk open as well as the tarter sauce for the salmon patty. Both of them were hard to open.

Mom came wheeling out a little later and brought me most of her samon pattie. I told her she should have eaten it and she said she didn't want it. So I ate it. It was really good. They headed to the room to go to the restroom. Donald said they'd be back in 12 minutes and in fact were back in 11, according to him. It was really quick. They must have fixed the issue surrounding that.

Mom said she thinks they no longer have an administrator. We haven't seen her in a while.

We headed back to the room again because she wanted a brownie. She started doing some exercises with her pull-thingy. We had her try to use her left arm. She did pretty good.

Sunday

I woke up thinking it was Monday. So I know how mom feels sometimes.

I went over about 3 and she was in her room asleep. It was almost 70 outside so I thought she may want to sit out on the porch. So I woke her up and right away headed down the hall. She was really still asleep. As we went out the door of the room she said "is momma finished eating?" I said who's momma? She said "your momma and my momma."

I stopped and looked at her and said you're my momma. Do you know who I am? She looked at me and laughed and said "you're not my momma."

We continued down the hall and she woke up. She asked where I had eaten lunch. I told her Linda and I went to Olive Garden.

We couldn't sit outside long because it was windy so we came in to the lobby. She said she went to Sunday school but missed the singing. She had had peas and greens at lunch. Terry had called. I tried to get a photo of her smiling but she refused. I told her I would have to photoshop a smile into it. "That'll be alright" she said.

I left and came back at supper about 5 past 5. She was eating. She had ham on her plate but didn't see it. So I cut it up and moved the sweet potatoes so she could see it.

I went on to the room and got the dessert I had brought us back to eat tonight from Olive Garden, a chocolate cake. But a CNA told me in the hall that she didn't want it because she knew I was bringing brownies. I did, but mostly for the staff. I only had her two small ones.

David and Pat came in just as I got to the room. David and I ate the cake. Mom came in later and had a brownie and Pat brought her some nutroll. David got her to practice a few exercises. She has therapy again tomorrow.

 

 

Saturday

Mom was in the room watching something on tv when I got there about 530.

She said Mandy had come by and brought my crock pot back, took down the Christmas stuff and put up a new wreath. She also put her poinsettia on the table where she could see it better.

She had found her list of exercises the therapist gave her yesterday but said she wasn't able to scoot back, so I scooted her back. She said she wandered if her neighbor back home was nicknamed for that; Scoot, real name Matilda.

She played bingo this morning and won a quarter. I told her that was a quarter she didn't have before.

She said she was half asleep when she went into the bathroom and tried to go by herself, realized what she was  doing and backed out and got hung. She said she called out for momma, Batchie, everybody. She couldn't remember if it really happened or if it was a dream.

Terry called her at 7 and they talked a while. I left about 730. Here's her Happy New Year photo.

Friday

Tim went by to see mom at lunch and got her some stuff from Bojangles. David came in just before they took her to therapy.

I went by about 6 and she and Donald were in the lobby. She said the therapy had made her tired. They put weights on her legs again. She said they were working on her knees a lot.

They were having a New Years party in the dining room when she got back so she went to that. I'm not sure if that's what it was or a party for someone who was leaving, as I had seen that posted somewhere the other day.

She said the therapist had written down some exercises for her to be working on but she doesn't know what became of the paper. I looked in the room and didn't see it.

Thursday

Terry and Melody and Michael and their kids went by moms this afternoon about 3. They took her some food from their Christmas lunch they had today and mom had it heated up for her supper tonight. Turkey and everything including pecan pie.

I went over about 7 and she was in the room snoozing. David got there not long after me. He was still there when I left about 730.

She said her knee was sore from therapy yesterday. He told her tomorrow it's at 1pm and he'll meet her there. She was sitting crooked in the chair. It looked really uncomfortable. We had her try to straighten up but it didn't help a lot.

Wednesday

Mom called me this morning about 9 something to see if I knew when her appointment was. I didn't so I called David. When I tried to call her back I could not get an answer.

I went over after work and she was still eating but soon came out to the lobby. She had on the new outfit she said David and Pat got her and a smile on her face.

We had a good time. She said "I'm trying to feel better about my future." I told her I really thought the therapy was helping and she shook her head in agreement. "He really worked on that knee" she said, speaking of the therapy today.

She said she got back about 3 and David was there when she left. "He was talking like I was doing a whole lot better" she said about her therapist. She said jokingly that he was little irritated though because she got confused and would push when he said pull and vice verse.

Donald had brought her a snack but I had also brought her a raspberry chocolate cookie from Subway. I told her to eat mine and save his for later because his was wrapped in alumininum foil and would last longer. "Well everyone's been telling me what to do today so I may as well keep it up" she said as she popped it in her mouth.

Her brother had also brought her an obituary from Monday's paper. It was for her friend Ruth Williamson. She had been at another facility but had died. Mom said no one had told her. "They (church) forgot about me after Andrew died", some negativity creeping back in.

I asked her on a scale of one to three with one being awful and three being awesome how would she rate her day. "I guess in the long run it was a three."

Indeed!

Mary Ruth Williamson

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GASTONIA - Mary Ruth Ivester Williamson, 85, of Gastonia, went to be with her Lord Jesus, Friday, Dec. 23, 2011, at Gaston Memorial Hospital.

She was a native of Fair Play, S.C., daughter of the late Lamar Ivester and Rosa Burdette Ivester Hall.

In addition to her parents she was preceded in death by her husbands, Robert L. Harris and Alonzo Williamson.

Mrs. Williamson retired from A.M. Smyre Manufacturing. Ruth was a faithful member of Fraley Memorial Baptist for 50 years. She was very active in her church including visits to shut-ins and hospital patients. She lived a life of total service to her Lord.

Survivors include her daughter, Carolyn H. Mayer and husband Bill; granddaughter, Tracy Nash; great granddaughter, Jessica Hucks; brother, Thomas G. Ivester and wife Fern; special grand dog, Prancer and very special friend, John H. Smith.

A funeral service will be held at 2 p.m. Monday, December 26, 2011 at the Founders Chapel of McLean Funeral Directors with Dr. Warner Doles and Rev. Ken Faulkenbury officiating.

The family will receive friends from 1 until 2 p.m. Monday, Dec. 26, 2011, at McLean Funeral Directors of Gastonia before the service.
Interment will follow at Gaston Memorial Park.

Memorial may be made to: Gaston Hospice, PO Box 3984, Gastonia, NC 28054.

Condolences may be sent online at www.mcleanfuneral.com

McLean Funeral Directors of Gastonia is serving the family of Mrs. Williamson.

Published in Gaston Gazette on December 25, 2011

 

Tuesday

David and Pat went by moms this afternoon and took her some presents from the beach. I went by for just a minute after work.

She was in the dining room listening to Community Christian singers. I sat down for a minute and asked her if the blouse she was wearing was new. She said it was the one Brenda from her church had given her. It looked really good on her.

I asked her about David and Pat coming by and she said she had a big blanket on the bed. I told her I would go look at it. It is huge. I went back and sat down and told her it was almost life-like. She agreed. She was smiling and obviously happy. I didn't stay so I don't know what else she got. She did say the shoes I got her seemed too narrow but was going to try them on again tomorrow. I told her I could take them back.