It's a Gregorious Life

Monday

Just a quick visit with mom tonight before she went to Lion Dancing and after I got my hairs cut.

She and Donald were in the room and she was in a great mood, even as she was telling me Nellie had bumped into her chair today on purpose. They left to go see the lions dance about 625 so I left to go eat and take something for my headache.

Sunday

I didn't go over to moms until after she had supper. I was at church in Second Life and it was 530, so I told them I had to go. At that very moment the phone rang and it was mom.

When I got there she was in the room having a brownie. "I've done everything but walk out those doors today" she said. I guess the winter hours of daylight and cool temps keeping her inside is getting to her. I could have took her outside today it was so warm and had intended to do that after lunch but I had to go home to do something and didn't go back out. My head started up again and I actually took a percocet tonight so I could hopefully rest when I go to bed.

She was glad to see Angela and Batchie today. She said Angela has retired. I told her I thought she had mentioned that the other week up at Linda's that she was going to at the end of the month. That was such a fun get together!

Anyway, we went to the lobby and mom had some coffee. She didn't sleep real well last night. Then she said it was the last two nights. And the food was in her thoughts again. "It kind of bothers my intelligence when they grind up chicken and put gravy on it and call it hamburger" she said.

I left at 7 on my way to Taco Hell. I mean Bell. She and Hazel were both dozing off when I left. I told them not to get into any trouble.

Saturday

I called mom in the afternoon but didn't get an answer. I thought maybe she was out in the lobby with someone.

I went over about 520. She was eating so I took her clothes and the brownies I made to the room, then took the staff their brownies. Christine said I was so good to them. I told her to give me a break, with all they do every day, and I bake brownies once in a while?

Mom came wheeling into the room. She said she had been 20 minutes late to supper. "They met me in the hall brining my tray to me" she said. She brought me a cookie back. I had the brownies there but took it and ate it. It's important for her to be able to offer and give people small things like that.

I hung up her clothes and asked if she wanted some coffee to go with the brownies. She did and wanted to walk with me to get it. That slows down the process but she wanted to go so we went slowly down to the south dining hall.

They were out of decaf but she said regular was ok. We got that and went back to the room. She was somewhat hurt that no one had been over today. She had spent some time talking to Mr Neely in the hall earlier then had gone to sleep.

"I know when I first came over here I had the reputation of having the most company of anybody but then it just drizzled off. I don't know what happened. I know it isn't pleasant to come sit in this hole in the wall" she said.

I told her when she was at home no one usually came to see her, not that much anyway. I told her I thought people just figured she was here at the facility and had a lot of people around her and she was so independent anyway that they just went on about their lives as usual. She didn't say anything.

I told her I was going to the store when I left. "When I get home we'll have to go to the store and get a lot of things" she said.

Friday

Mom said the new shoes didn't help much. I suggested maybe a boot would work on the left foot since she said shoes flop while she tries to walk.

Inez was with Donald and mom and Hazel in the lobby when I got there. I had perishables in the car so I didn't stay too long. Mom seemed in a good mood but she was a little ill about the walking thing.

Thursday

I just took my evening meds and I added a percocet to them. The Aleve wasn't working very well today. Now my head is pounding and sweating too. I'm hoping it will go away when I lay down here in a few minutes.

I didn't go see mom since it was hurting so bad. I called her and David and Pat were there. They had brought her some New Balance shoes.

This morning I went to a different MDonalds to get breakfast because the one at the office wanted to charge me an extra fee for an additional syrup earlier in the week for my hotcakes and sasauge. So this morning I'm at the one across from Target, and order the same thing.

Someone yelled "park that car" twice because my order wasn't ready and they wanted me to move up. The lady at the window literally didn't understand English too well, and tried to hand me a big bag full of something. She asked me what I ordered and when I told her she said in broken English "pull up".

So I pulled up. Another English challenged person eventually approached the car with my bag. She had no tea, which was clearly on the receipt. So I took the bag and said "the order had a large tea on it too." She trudged back into the store and came back with my tea. I took it and said "thank you". She turned and walked off, still not having uttered a word.

I mumbled "dumb ass" as I drove off. As I went past the other people waiting on line I sad (with my window up so they couldn't hear me) "good luck!!" and "check your order!". Yeah I was ill.

But before I got to the office I realized something. That lady at the window and the one who brought me my tea is probably working at that $6 an hour job in order to support their families. And I'm ill because they can't get my insignificant order right 100% of the time?

No wonder I have had a headache for almost two weeks.

Wednesday

Passed the test this morning and barely made it to the ENT doctor who said the headache is probably from the car accident back in September.

Got to moms about 510 and she was eating. She came out to the lobby pretty soon with her bib still on and carrying her milk. Donald had her a moonpie.

She said Tim and Michelle had just left. She asked me what the doctor had told me. I told her he told me to take Aleive. She thought I said he told me to take a leave from work. I couldn't even if he had said it.

Patti came and sat for a while as mom filled out some birthday cards for the kids. I was late in getting them because I always forget she sends them one too. She wanted to send them the same money she sends the others but me and Donald both advised her against it. I told her, they're breeding. It could go on and on. She said she was just sitting there doing nothing for them. I told her they wouldn't exist if it wasn't for her and Patti and Donald  agreed.

Mom was upset about sitting at the wrong table tonight. She said someone was in her place so she had to sit somewhere else. "I got up and told them they could have the whole table" she said, as if the people sitting at the table had something to do with it. Earlier, another resident had yelled at one coming toward her up the hall toward the lobby to move over. The lady was doing good to move, much less move over. As she passed her she just shook her head.

Then Bingo stopped Patti and was telling her how hurt he was that he got left out of bingo this afternoon. Evidently he had called bingo and Rita didn't hear him, so he was mad at her and wasn't going to play bingo tonight. Patti was still trying to convince him when I left but he was really emotionally upset about it. Mom didn't hear any of it and I didn't mention it.

Was there something in the water?

Tuesday Tirade

Mom was in the room with David and Pat when I got there about 710 tonight. She was waiting to get her shower, and was recalling the events of the day.

They were all irritating it seemed- but at least she was laughing as she told them. She said Anita smarted off to her (didn't get Anita's side of the story) and didn't really walk that much. She was in a rare mood and I told her to just "let it go". She laughed and like I said she was in good humour despite the days events.

I left about 730.

Monday

Mom was in a good mood when I got there at 540. She and Donald were in the lobby. Hazel came up later. Mom giggled to Donald about Hazel flirting with some resident in the lobby. Then he said something about her not winning anything at bingo. I said something about Hazel couldn't talk to Bingo because he wasn't here and Donald said yeah he's hers (moms) and mom covered her mouth and said shhhhhh.

I made a few more notes but my head is hurting too bad to keep typing. That's all folks.

Sunday

Mom called a couple of times today but I was sleeping. I slept off and on til about 2, after taking another muscle relaxer. They don't seem to be doing any good for the headache but they do make me sleepy.

I answered when she called again about 505pm. She said she had went to supper and didn't have any bread, and after asking for it and not getting it she came back to the room and called me. She wanted a biscuit from Bojangles. I was in church in Second Life and told her I would be over when that was over about 530.

So I got her a bacon egg and cheese biscuit and some dirty rice then got her some cofee when I got there. She ate every bit of it so she had to be hungry. I got my supper too so we ate together. Tim and Michelle had been there most of the afternoon.

She met Joe's wife at Sunday School this morning. He is the teacher. She said he had shoulder surgery and his arm was in a cast this morning.

We went down to the lobby a little bit before I left about 720. I told Hazel I still had my headache and with a head like this I would be surprised if I didn't have one.

Saturday

I had to work til 1 then went to lunch. I went by moms  later in the afternoon after supper. She was in the room with her "This is my Halloween Costume" shirt on. I took the staff two Halloween cakes since I didn't have time to bake brownies. Mom said "Sarah will be glad because she's not working this weekend." I told her I couldn't stay long because I had a chicken in the car. "Is it alive?" she wanted to know. Good question.

Terry and Mandy had spent most of the afternoon there while I was sleeping after work to try to get rid of the headache. No luck.

Friday

I knew I had to work late so I called mom about 6 and told her I wasn't coming by since I had to work til about 830 and on top of that still had the headache. She said she totally understood and wished I could come by but understood. Donald was there. I told her I'd see her later. I got home about 840 and have to be back by 9 in the am. Shoot me now or Jesus take me home!

Thursday

I called mom this afternoon to see how she was doing after her big day of running around. She said she was fine but wanted to get those New Balance shoes before tomorrow so she could walk with them. I told her it wasn't going to happen, that I had to work til 7.

I went over about 720 and she already had her gown on. By the time I got her ice and towels and stuff David and Pat had came in. The phone rang and David answered it and said it was Batchie. She said Harold had called her and said he had went to see mom but she wasn't in the room. Mom said he called her a little after supper and they talked including talk about halloween. She said it was the devil's holiday. "He said that sounded like something momma would say" talking about aunt Edna.

They had a halloween parade today and mom said Rita should win the prize for best costume. Mom told Pat "that Bingo ain't never grown up". She had that kid's smile as she said she had felt something tapping her chair today and she looked back and it was him. "When he saw I noticed it he said you're ok." 

Wednesday

"I've had a busy day" mom said as we wheeled into the lobby on the way to the car. She had her hairs done, nails done, breakfast and lunch, and now she was off to two doctor appointments.

We got to the dentist two minutes before her appointment at 2pm, but waited until after 230 before they took her back. She had been having some pain in one of her front teeth and it happened to be the one he filled today. He said it was a deep filling and he took an xray after that to be sure she didn't need a root canal. He said as long as she didn't have any more pain she was good to go for six months, so we made an appointment for a check up in March.

By then it was about 320 so we made our way to the podiatrist after I drove past an apartment that is for rent downtown. Not sure I want to be in that neighborhood though. Mr. Rogers I"m not.

We made it to the podiatrist early about 340 and mom said she needed to go to the restroom. I asked her something I can't remember now, and she said she didn't want them to pinch her toe or something and make her pee. Fortunately it was a really large restroom there in the lobby and we went in and out without a hitch. As soon as we were out they called us back.

Dr. Eubanks trimmed her toenails and deadened the toe next to the left big toe and cut some out of it. She trimmed the big one too. Mom was concerned her show keeps coming off that foot while she is walking. Dr. Eubanks said that since she can move her foot and toes really well that problem may be more with strength in her thigh instead of her toe. She also said the shoe may not be fitting her foot anymore and recommended maybe getting some New Balance tennis shoes and see if that helped. Mom is concerned she is going to fall while trying to walk.

When we got back to the facility mom said a there had told her that she needs to be walking 7 days a week. I asked her who she was and she didn't know. I said was she an employee and mom said no she thinks she lives there! But she said she got the impression she was going to tell the therapy department about it.

I left her in the lobby at 440. We had been gone three hours. Two doctors in three hours and she did really well getting in and out of all of the chairs. She joked with the dental hygienist about biting her when she had to put the xray things in her mouth.

I went back over at 615  after work and she and Donald were about to go into the dining room to hear the Webbers. We moved into there for a minute then I went to the room to hang up her laundry. I said goodbye on the way out. David and Pat went over later.

Mom called this evening while I was still at work about 620. She wanted to know if I was still at work. I told her I was.

She was really calling though to find out if her doctors appointments were in fact tomorrow. I told her yes, she has the dentist at 2pm and the foot doctor at 4pm. "Which one should I go to first?" she asked. I told her probably the one at 2pm. She laughed and said "I guess so" but I think she was thinking which one was more urgent.

I went over after work about 705. It was raining pretty hard and my tension headache still hadn't gone away. I took Tylenol today for the first time all year, and tomorrow if it's not gone I'm graduating to something stronger that's left over from the hospital.

On my way in I passed Sarah on her way out, bundled up in a rainproof coat to go smoke. She was play-singing and said they were singing inside. They sure were. I don't know who it was but about 4 people were singing in the dining room to a small group including mom. I sat down beside her, between her and Oscar. Bingo was no where to be seen. They kept singing and by 720 I decided to take my headache and leave, since she had said she was waiting on them to come take her to the shower anyway. "Are you coming back tonight?" she asked. I told her no and she laughed and frowned at the same time. She said Terry and Joanne had been over earlier so she had some good company today.

I went home and put some Icy Hot on my neck.

Merry Hearts Monday

I went by to work on Denise's printer after work so it was a little after 6 when I got to moms. She and Donald were sitting in the lobby. Someone who was leaving said outside before I went in that they were talking about me and said I was supposed to be there over an hour earlier.

I went in and Donald told me to take a seat. I told him David and Pat had several at home so I didn't need one. Hazel was out there too but Rosie took her away. Then suddenly she was back. I asked her if she had been there before and mom said she was there now.

Donald had already gotten mom some coffee to go with a cookie. The Merry Hearts walked in and as they passed mom asked one of them "was it cold where ya'll come from?" The ladies just looked at her and walked on by without answering, so they probably didn't hear her, but I heard her, so I don't know.

It was a short visit as they went in to hear the singing about 620. They had to get a good seat. Preacher Calvert came in and mom asked him where Georgia was. No, not the one that has a capital called Atlanta, this was Georgia, Preacher Calvert's wife she was referring to. He told her she has congestive heart failure and is in the facility where mom started out at back in 06.

They went in the hear the singing and I left. Mom called my cell about 8pm and said she thought I was coming with them earlier. I told her I had that headache and left to go tend to it and she remembered. She said it was a good service and wished I was there. She said I was there so little it was like "you weren't even here since you didn't come down to the room. You can make up for it tomorrow" she said. Hmmmm.

She said she already had her gown on and was going to brush her teeth then call someone to come help her to bed. Then she recanted and said she was going to stay up a while longer.

Pat got Gus a new sweater. I know he can't wait to go over to moms and show it off. With the new car though I need to find that "I don't think so button" til I find something to fit over the seat for him.

Sunday

Went to see mom about 6. She was in the room covered up like it was the dead of winter. She had on a dress and said it made her cold.

She said she had been in the lobby a long time waiting on someone to come over and had just come back to the room. I brought her a small cookie and got her some coffee. I had some too. She said while she was in the lobby after lunch some Temple people had stopped to talk to her.

She said Doris, a hall neighbor, and she had talked a while today and that yesterday Mandy had gone in there and talked to her and "she just loves Mandy to death" now. David and Pat came in while I was there.

Saturday

Just spent about 15 minutes with mom today before heading out of town.

I took her a sliver of pumpkin pie cheesecake from Olive Garden. She had that with some coffee out in the lobby. David sent her a box of Kleenex. Mom said Terry called and she was coming over in a little bit.

It was Joan's birthday so I called her and she and mom talked a while. She was at home in Danbury studying something for class. They talked a  good little bit. Mom told her about the Sunday school lesson tomorrow. She said it was good to talk to her.

Friday

It was warm enough to be outside so mom and Donald were just getting situated on the porch when I got there about 535. She looked good in her outfit Pat had picked out yesterday.

She had bbq for supper but didn't get a bun so she cut her roll in half and made do. She said she walked today and her toes hurt. She said Anita had insinuated that her main problem was not being able to balance. "She should have just came out and said it" she said. She said the high walker hurts her arm leaning on t.

She said she told the nurse her tooth was hurting and was offered a pain pill but balked at that. She said she dreamed about dad last night. "I forgot to tell him goodbye and called out for him to come back!" Inez came by and sat with us on her way out. She said she was visiting a neighbor.

They went in a little after 630 in search of a shower.

Thursday

I went by moms right after work at 7 and David and Pat walked in behind me. I asked her how was her day and she said it was like any other day.

The Kings Messengers had been scheduled to sing tonight but the board said they were canceled. Mom was in the room watching Nancy Grace on CNN. I scared her when I walked in.

I think she said they played bingo today but I can't remember. She said Batchie came over, I do remember that. That was better than winning the blackout.

She asked David and Pat if Will was better. I guess he is since he's going hunting tomorrow.

David fixed mom's leg brace so it won't hurt when they put it on tonight. It had some metal protruding from it. When they left we were talking about going to the foot doctor next week and the one she went to first, Santiago, and how she'd never go back to him. "I get tired of people hurting me" she laughed, and added "I hurt myself."

Winning Wednesday

Mom called David this afternoon and asked him about going to the foot doctor. She said her toes were hurting again. He called me I made an appointment with Dr Eubanks for next Wednesday at 4, just after her dental appointment so she can knock them out both in the same day.

When I got there about 530 I spent 15 minutes in the lobby alone with the sgar free cookies in the bag Donald had left. I thought he and mom were in the dining room eating but I noticed about 545 it had essentially cleared out so I found they were actually sitting out back.

They were getting ready to come in though so we went to the lobby. She said her toes had started hurting while walking. I don't think she walked much today. I think she's worried her toes will hurt when she walks and without walking she can't go home. She seemed preoccupied and I think that's why. But I'm speculating.

Other than that she was in a good mood and laughed a little at some things. Rita came out and spent a few minutes with her and she seemed in a good mood too. Mom started wheeling away about 622 toward the dining room and I told her goodnight. She was eager to add to the $1 earning she had won this morning.

Tired Tuesday

Mom was in the room watching The Young and The Restless when I went over about 115. She actually was watching it and had the volume up to where she could hear it. She had mentioned the other day that it had been a long time since she had seen it.

She said the resident's birthday party was coming up at 2pm. I told her the careplan meeting was at 130. David came in and we all headed down there.

Joyce said they had to talk about a discharge plan because the staff had reported that mom was getting impatient being over there. We went through the situation recap again about her house and someone being there to help her and so on and that right now that wasn't happening. David told them though that this was her goal and it gave her hope and he recapped how much progress she has made there and that the expectation is that the progress will continue. 

They announced she weight 176.5 and had gained three pounds since September. Mom literally cringed and said something about leaving that out of the report. They brought up the drink cup in the dining room and Christine said that it is now the responsibility of the nurses on each shift to make sure mom has something to drink at meals. I am not sure if that is true for everyone or if they are just supposed to check on mom. I guess I should have asked but felt like I had probably instigated enough inquiry about the matter as it was. I told them since the administrator and I talked everything had gone perfectly except that one Sunday.

We left her in the dining room waiting on the party about 150. I went back over about 715 and she had her gown on. Terry had come over just before supper and she had just left right before I got there mom said. She said they had sat outside just a little bit.

Monday

Mom and Donald were walking up the hall when I got there a little before 545. They had been outside in the cold for a few minutes.

The administrator came out of her office and I introduced myself. I'm not sure she remembered who I was but she said I could call her anytime I needed to.

Bingo came wheeling in with his son behind him. His son talked to Donald a good little while about guitars. Bill pointed to Donald and acknowledged that he plays well. Donald said he and mom and Batchie used to play at maw and paw Smith's house. Mom laughed and said "they missed me when I got married!" With that Bingo patted her on the shoulder and they left.

Somehow mom got on the subject of dad and said he used to tell her how beautiful she was when she woke up. "That's pretty nice to tell someone you're beautiful when you first wake up." I told her this was becoming too much information. She said she slept on her stomach while she was pregnant with me and has always worried about whether that damaged me somehow. Well hello look around you what do you think?? I feel pretty damaged but by the grace of God I'm 100%.

Bingo's son stopped back by on his way out. I told him Bill had gotten mom interested in bingo (I think it was originally Mr. B who did that but Bill took over) and mom confessed "I didn't know his name so I named him Bingo!"

We went to the room for a while and I waited so I could escort Donald out about 710. I wonder if his mom slept on her stomach?

Sunday

Mom was ready for bed when I got over there about 715 tonight. David and Pat had just left. She had on her gown and some hose and dress shoes. She said she wore her poka dot dress today. I told her that was the one I liked best. "I got several compliments on it" she said. 

Pat brought her some pumpkin pie and they went to the dining room and had some coffee with it she said. She brought her a little pound cake too and it was on the table. She said they made one trip around the garden out back real quick. "it was cold" she said.

We found Andy Griffith on tv. "I wish I could get home and stay up late" she said. She used to stay up til midnight some nights. "Now I have to get up at 7 and sit over here til breakfast. I'd love to put my housecoat on and just piddle around."

I hung out with her til about 740 then left.

Saturday Said So

After breakfast and then work then searching for a cam monitor for Linda I went by moms with some soup. She was in room and it was about 5 past 12.

Before I went in I checked under the passenger seat of the Saab and just like she insisted yesterday there was her compact. I gave it to her when I walked in and she was happy. She said she had another one though and I could have this one.

I asked her why she wasn't in the dining room for lunch. She was in the drawers looking for a gift bag. She had been at bingo this morning and won a quarter and a small nightlight. It had some cute design on it and she said "Bingo said he hoped he won that so he could give it to his granddaughter." So she was going to give it to him, along with the smile on her face.

She decided to forego the bag so I told her I would push her to the dining room to get her there quicker. We got there and I asked her where he normally sat. She said over there and when I told her I'd push her over there she was like "no no you can't get me over there" but whoop there it was. She handed him the gift and told him she wanted him to give it to his granddaughter. He smiled and reached out to shake her hand. He was eating. They had hush puppies and something.

I left her at her table and went back to the room to eat my soup and I stopped earlier and got her cake out of the fridge. She came back in the room later and had some hush puppies from lunch for us to eat so I had a couple with my soup. We both finished off the cake. I had her some coffee to go with it. I hung around til a little after two then headed out of town.

Friday

Mom and Donald were in the room when I got there about 6. I had her some chocolate cake from Longhorn. She had some coffee with it just for a bite and I put the rest in the fridge.

She said Mandy and Terry had just left. They had put some of the clothes that were in the boxes on top of the wardrobe back in the wardrobe. Yikes. Little House on the Prairie was on. There was a lot of stuff going wrong on it- bees after one bunch, an axle breaks on another causing a disaster- then something else happened, I lost track. Donald said it was "worse than The Young and the Restless." This is true.

There was a mirror in the bottom of her clothes hamper that I had brought back and I asked her if that was that compact she had been looking for. She said no, it's a mirror. "That compact's in your car" she said. I told her it wasn't. "Yes it is you just haven't seen it" she said forceably. I was shaking. I guess I'll have to buy her one, cause homey's done looked under the seat. Unless it took up with a with a dust bunny and left I have no idea where it is.

Thursday

Mom said she waited on me in the lobby til 7 then she gave up and went back to the room. It was 723 when I got there and David and Pat were there cleaning up. I sat down and waited about 15 minutes while mom nixed every outfit for tomorrow that Pat picked out for her. Having not had supper I told her I'd see her later. There was singing in the dining room earlier at 630 but I don't think she went.

Wednesday

I was ready to go to bed when I got home at 630 but amazingly I'm still up.

I went by moms about 515 and she and Donald were already in the lobby. I told her she must have drank her supper.  "My sugar was 144 today. It was those peanuts from yesterday, I'm not doing it anymore" she said.

"I got mad at Jennifer and Anita." She was a little ill that Jennifer and Anita had tried to direct her as she went down the hall walking today. Mom felt like they were acting like she was crazy because they told her not to walk into the wall and to avoid a hamper in the middle of the hall.

She said Ronnie Beaver came by today. She had her hair done after lunch. Bingo was coming up at 630 so I left about 615 after almost falling over asleep.

Tuesday

Mom called about 15 til 7. "Are you still at work?" I told her I was til 7. She wanted to know if I ever found her compact in the car. I told her I would look before I came over. She also wanted to know if I had given Amy her check yet for her beautician bill for the month. I told her no but I would write it right then and drop it in Amy's box when I got there tonight.

I got there about 717. She was in the room at the counter washing her face and putting night creme on. She had just had her shower and already had her gown on. I had brought her some coffee and a few of those tiny brownie bites.

Sidney was in the hall with the floor shampooer and it makes a sound similar to a ship's horn. "I told them in the dining room you hear that? That's the ship coming after us" she laughed. "I got a laugh out of Edith" she said.

She said Amy may give her a perm tomorrow "but that's a whole different story" relative to the check I dropped off tonight since that would be extra.

She said Marianne came by today on her way to see Terry.  "I told Marianne when she left: Now you go make happy memories" she said. She was talking about something else after that but I was doing something on the phone and I had to ask her three times what she had said. I told her I was sorry, that I wasn't paying attention. "I noticed that" she added.

She said they probably think she is nuts because of what she said about the ship in the dining room. Then she said she had ate some nuts at supper and was burping them up. "I don't want anymore nuts for a while" she said. I told her I would call Donald and tell him not to come by. She laughed and said "don't tell him that he might think you're serious!" I doubt that. First that he could think, second that I could be serious. I do however have Sirius radio. David and Pat came in at 8 and I left a little after that.

Oct 13, 2009

Breakfast with the office peeps this am

Monday

Mom called me this afternoon while I was at work. She wanted to know if I had seen her compact in the car anywhere. I told her i hadn't but I would look when it stopped raining, which it didn't today.

I went over after work about 540. She and Donald were in the room laughing and talking about old times. The Millsap dude and Arthur Holtzclaw came up again, as did the sighting of a boot above a door- what's up with that?

I told her about four of our offices getting together for breakfast in the morning as part of an employee appreciation week. She wanted to know if Frank (from my old office, he has since retired) was going to be there. I asked her Frank Sinatra? He's dead. I said no wonder you're seeing things like the boot above the door. (it's a long story don't ask, but it kept her laughing. You had to be there.)

Oct 12, 2009

laughing in the room tonight

Sunday

Here is a great song I heard on the way back from mom's today. It's Jearlyn Steele, performing on yesterday's Prarie Home Companion show from St. Paul, MN. If you click the play button, following about 15 seconds of Garrison yick yacking a monologue, you will hear her sing "Soon", which I found to be quite awesome.

I went to the store to get some turkey and things for lunch at work this week, and I just realized we're fixing hot dogs there tomorrow and I forgot to get buns!! I'll have to go back in the morning. Anyway, I called mom on my way to the store about 1pm to see how her day was going and to see if she was sore or tired from the trip yesterday. Amazingly, she was not sore at all. I was afraid the effort she had to exert walking up the steps yesterday might maker her sore today but she said she wasn't, which is great.

I went over about 3pm and we sat out on the front porch til about 430. She said Joe had presented the Sunday school this morning. It got a little chilly so we went inside but she decided to go back out on the porch with some coffee. She had her blanket around her the whole time too. She said she got irritated because this morning no one put on her arm brace and she carried it down the hall and people saw it but she got disgusted and took it back to the room. Someone finally came and put it on her.

I went back about 7:06pm and she was in the room trying to put her glove on. I had took her some chocolate cake earlier that I had gotten her at Harris Teeter so she could eat it after supper. She had saved me a small part of it in her drawer so I ate it. She said she had the heartburn again from supper. I brought a picture of her and her siblings from yesterday and hung it on the wall. She didn't like it at first because she was in it, she said she looked scared. Miranda came in and told her it looked great. So once I hung it on the wall she liked it. She said she must have been scared because she looked at Donald. She said it, not me.

We worked to get her glove on and finally succeeded. She straightened out the crooked fingers better then I thought she could and it went right on- like a glove.

Saturday Autumn Gathering

I called mom about 10 to see if she had slept well and was still going today. She said she was, and had already been to the bathroom and was ready to go.

When I got there about 1030 several employees I passed in the hall mentioned that she was ready to go, so she had been talking to everyone about it.

I checked with the nurse to see if she needed any meds before we left and she said the only thing scheduled was some Maalox around 2pm if she needed it. So once we got in the car we stopped at CVS down the road and got some just in case.

I told her that her outfit was cute and she said that she had seen Bingo looking at her this morning. "He looked twice so something must have gotten his attention" she laughed.

On the way up there she said the finger that the bee had stung the other day was itching really bad. So we stopped again at CVS in Shelby and I got her antibacterial ointment with built in pain reliever. She put some on her finger and after a few minutes it had went away (the itching, not the finger).

We made it to the Miller's about 1215pm. A few people were already there. Ricky helped me get mom up the front steps. They were not as I remembered them, so walking was really the only option. She did well but her leg was getting a little weaker by the 4th step. Still she did fine and said she was in no pain or anything when I asked her at the end of the day.

We had a great time together and a super meal. Kim's husband Paul is a pastor and he gave the blessing of the food then we tore into it. Mom rolled around on her own and toured the whole main floor sitting inside and also outside on the rear deck. 

We left to head back about 430. On the way I played a song from a cd I had in the car. It was "If Wishes were Horses" by Lari White. She has a beautiful voice and it's a beautiful song. Mom said it reminded her of sitting on the porch with Arthur Holtzclaw when she was 16. He was 21 and wanted to marry her but she told him she was too young to get married. "He said, if you were only mine". She said later than dad had asked her to marry him and she told him the same thing. She said he and Arthur would take turns walking her home from church. Dad would come to her job at the mill and walk her home at night. She said one night she was worried about what to do about his proposal and she cried as she walked around the spinning machine and prayed about what to do. She said she prayed that if dad was out there that night when she got off that "it was meant to be" and that she would agree to marry him. She said when 10 o clock came she went outside "and there was your daddy. So on the way home I told him I would." And you know the rest.

I said so you liked the song? "It was sorta romantic. It brought back those memories." We made it back to the facility about 10 til 6 and once we got her room situated we sat out on the front porch until about 720. She had a great day thanks to a wonderful family. It was her first trip to the mountains since her stroke over three years ago.

 

Friday

Mom and Donald were out back staring in the direction of Outback when I got over to her place about 6. I forgot to mention yesterday that she had gotten stung by a bee and she said that her finger was itching a lot today where it stung her.

She was anxious about waiting on her shower tonight. She said she felt better though and was probably going to go to the get-together tomorrow after all. I told her to be ready about 10 if she was. Hopefully she can get in and out of the new car easy.

 

 

Thursday

Charlotte then Shelby made for a very drawn out, tiring day. But it all ended with me with the car and mom with her gown on.

I got over there about 730 sfter staying late at work. Davd and Pat were already there. Mom was in a good mood and said she slept well and was grinning abou tBatchie being there and that she got to see little Andrew.

They had evidently sat outside because mom had gotten stung on the finger by a bee. She said it swelled up a little. David said mom was in the singing when they got there but they came on down to the room.

Wednesday

Class is over thank goodness. We left at 430 and were heading to Shelby but the finance dude had to be home to watch a Yankees game. So, he may or may not see me tomorrow. I'm heading to Charlotte first to look at an alternative.

I went by moms and she and Donald were out back. It was about 530. She said she walked today but that she had to sit down a couple of times because her knee hurt. She said they looked at her like they were aggravated at her. She was real tired though and I don't know if she really could make out there expressions or not. After all the other day she was talking to Theresa and thought she was Theresa's mother.

We went inside when she got cold and sat in the lobby with Hazel. I could tell she was really sleepy and asked her why she wasn't sleeping well. "You try to sleep with a brace on your leg and arm" she said. Then for some reason Donald asked her if her arm brace was helping her to think.

I would not believe it if I had not heard it with my own eyes, but he looked right at her and said "does it help you think?"

She said she didn't know if she's going to Linda's this weekend or not because she's still stiff and sore from the wedding. She was a little ill too because a student nurse gave her her shower yesterday. She said she told them she didn't want anyone in there with her that she wasn't familiar with but they went in anyway and then proceeded to get them both wet. It shot cold water on mom and the student.

Tuesday

We got out of class earlier again so I had time to get to Charlotte and get my insurance check before they closed at 6. Then I went by the office to get some reports done for tomorrow, then to Catfish Cove for some oyster stew takeout. It was hot enough to sit in the car while I went in to see mom.

I got there about 730 and David was in there cleaning up. I only stayed a minute to say hi as I had a headache and had been running like crazy since 630am. She said Terry and Mandy were there today and that Beth, whose mom had been there beside mom for a while,  was in the hall visiting a friend and they sat down and talked for a while. 

David said the nurse super called him about my message the other day and about mom getting regular food. He told her we'd discusss it at this month's careplan meeting. They seem very concerned about her eating regular food.

If all goes well by this time tomorrow I will be driving this and it will be the ride up to the get together on Saturday.

Monday

Mom had an exciting day. She said they played video games in the dining room and "I shot over 116 on there" she said.  "It was fun, we got a lot of laughs out of it." They also played finish the sentence and had fun with that too. Oscar told some stories about gas but that's all I got out of it.

I went over after classes were over and after I stopped by the office for a little bit. I discovered once we went to the room that I had learned how to turn off the light behind the bed with my rear end. Not only that, I could turn it on again too. I did it several times to show it wasn't a fluke. I thought at this rate, tomorrow I could cook dinner with it.

Sunday

Mom called my cell and David's around 12 but we didn't get the message til later.

David went over around 4 and took her some food. She said she had been in the lunchroom and didn't like the ground up meat, and she didn't get anything to drink either. She said she even went around with her cup held up in the air so one of the CNA's or whoever was in there would see what she wanted but no one ever got her anything. "It didn't happen" mom said.  So she went back to her room and got some water. I asked her if anyone had come around to the table to ask if anyone needed anything like they had been doing and she sad no.

I went over around 550. David was just leaving. He and Pat had gotten her some food from KFC and a Bojangles biscuit. She enjoyed it but she still had a frown on her face. I asked her why she was frowning and she started talking about lunch again. I don't think these people who ignore the residents at meal time don't realize how negatively they impact their lives. In all fairness though this is the first time since the admisinstrator called me that mom has not gotten something to drink. Seems it's always the weekend when the defenses are down. Even once though is not acceptable.

Celebratory Saturday

 
We picked mom up about 430 on schedule and got to the wedding site about 520.

It was a beautiful ceremony and mom got to sit on the front row beside of Terry. She said she really enjoyed listening to the music. It looked like a harp but I'm not sure if that is the proper name for it.

After the wedding there were a lot of pictures then inside for the reception and meal. After that Marianne and Matt danced and then cut the cake after some toasts. Mom said she felt like a fish out of water but was enjoying it all. Her sister was there sitting across the room and she got to see her before she left.  I had asked for apple cider for the toast and shared that with mom but she said it was wine. She told Michelle in the car on the way back she really had something to tell them when she got back.

At one point during the reception mom leaned over and told me there was some woman over there and "she's looking at you 'that way'" whatever that meant. I think she was probably wondering what facility I had escaped from if anything.

We left about 9pm and mom told Matt on the way out "welcome to the family. I'm the patriarch you know, I'm 85 years old" she said laughing. Then on to the car where as she got in she said "this is a lot of excitement for someone who lives in a hole in the wall. I know how the garbageman feels now", referring to when the come empty the dumpsters late into the night. Her back was hurting and she was tired so she will probably sleep good.

Pat helped her get her gown on back at the facility. It was about 930. She had quite a night and got to see the marriage of her last single grandchild.









 

Friday

Mom called about 4 just as I was leaving the office. She wanted me to come et fish with her at 5. Twin Tops was parked out front and they were going to fix everyone a fish dinner. I told her I was on my way out the door- literally, I had to stop to answer the phone- to take the rental car back to Charlotte while I could. I had to have it there by Monday, and I will be in classes by then and could not risk not getting it there tomorrow and having to pay $75 to keep it another 3 days.

"I guess I'll call David and see if he wants to eat some fish." I felt so sorry for her. She just wanted someone to eat with her. It was just bad timing though with the wedding rehearsal dinner tonight and me taking the car back everyone was occupied.

I told her I would see her later, but as it happened I didn't get back til almost 830. Tim and Michelle were super nice and able to pick me up at the collision center where I dropped off the rental. I got the rest of my stuff out of the wrecked Audi, including the Winston-Salem AAA Club sticker I had just put on there a week before the wreck, a sticker I had been saving for almost 10 years.

I called mom and told her I didn't mean to lie, that I was coming by but it was late and I was tired. She understood. She said Donald came but he had already eaten when he got there. She had mentioned he might want to take Bertie a plate but admitted it would be cold.

She asked me a couple of times if I was picking up my car and I had to tell her again it was a loss, so her short term memory is suffering again. Maybe she napped again this afternoon I don't know. It's unusual though for it to be that bad without a midday nap being involved.

She was concerned about the trip to the wedding tomorrow so I had told her earlier that she was riding with Tim and we were all leaving together about 445.

Thursday

I stayed in bed all day almost. I ate breakfast then went back to bed until about 2. I fixed a pimento cheese sandwich and some cup a soup for lunch. About 630 I went out foraging for supper and called mom on the way.

She said she was sleepy and I told her I could go back to bed too. She said they had devotions this morning with Barbara. She got the days confused for a moment saying Donald wasn't there last night but then got straightened out.

She called me back about 830 saying she had been calling people trying to get in touch with them. She wanted to know how Pat was and I told her I thought she was better. She had called them but didn't get an answer. She did get Terry and Tim, I think. I didn't talk too long because it makes my throat tired. I told her hopefully I would see her tomorrow.

They settled the insurance claim today and hopefully I will be able to go pick up a check tomorrow. I doubt I'll have a car in time for the wedding on Saturday though.

Wednesday

I called mom this morning about 1120 to let her know I had changed her dentist appointment to later in the month. I called back about 730 and Donald was just leaving. They had sat outside  while. Patti sat out there with her too she said. David was there when I called. She had gotten to hear the Webbers this evening.

I didn't go by there since the doctor today said I may still be contagious, and I felt worse than yesterday when I went and sat in the lobby. I had to work til 830, and I just want to sleep now.

Terrible Tuesday

It was such a long day everyone at home was asleep by the time I got back there tonight. Except Gus, bless his heart he was waiting for me in the living room.

I called mom late this afternoon and she had been napping earlier and gotten all confused again. She said she woke up about 3pm and had been in her chair all night. She said the CNA told her she did put her to bed last night but she doesn't remember it. I asked her if she remember me being there and she didn't. "I don't remember much after we got ice cream sandwiches about 2 o clock" she said. I wonder if they were laced with something?

She said preacher Doles came by yesterday and so did preacher Lowery but I never got it straight if that was today or yesterday.

We left work and 8 and by then I had the makings of a sore throat so I called mom and asked her if she felt like meeting me in the lobby because I didn't want to be in an enclosed area with her.  She said she did and she was sitting out there with Rita when I got there about 810. Mr Neely said goodnight on his way out. Mom told Rita that they call him the man with the million dollar smile. That's ok. Donald is the man with the million dollar bill.

Rita seemed to be upset but I didn't pry. She said to pray for the facility. She left a little later. Mom told her she really misses her and Patti when they're not there. "But I don't begrudge your time away" she said.

"I shoulda known yesterday wasn't Tuesday or I woulda had my shower. I had finally convinced myself that today was Tuesday. Is it?" she asked. I said yes. I was sitting against the window and she was almost in the hall so I was far enough away not to spray any germs on her but we could still hear each other. Batchie came by and I think that was today but it was hard to get an exact grasp on things.

She said she was unsure now about signing the waiver for the food again. She said it wasn't too bad today but that her baked ham was ground up. "You know that ham isn't going to hurt me." I told her it had a lot of sodium though. "I need salt" she says. I asked her if she wanted me to get her a salt block for her to lick. I could disguise it as a candle and put it on the counter. She made a licking motion with her tongue.

She reminded me of her dentist appointment on Thursday which is good because I'm going to have to reschedule it since I don't have a way to get her there. I told her homecoming wasn't going to happen either. If I get to fix my car it won't be ready by then and if I don't I won't have time to find anything new by then either. She understood.

I left a few minutes before 9. She thanked me for coming by and headed back to her room. Hopefully she'll sleep well tonight.

My friend Louise commented on what I said last night about the preachers and other good-intentioned persons spreading lies. She said her Aunt Jettie had a good saying. She said 'Life (and experience) teaches a dear lesson.  Fools will learn from no other'.

MOnday

We got short notice at work today that we work til 8pm tonight and 9pm tomorrow and Wednesday. It's the end of the quarter, folks. Gotta make those anonymous stockholders (and the Saudi prince) happy.

So about 530 I took mom and Donald a piece of Hummingbird cake my boss had made for Denise's birthday today. He was waiting on her in the lobby so I left it with him and went back to work. If I had went to the dining room to tell her I couldn't stay I know she would have probably stopped eating and followed me out anyway. Depending on how hungry she was.

We were given a brief reprieve at 730 though so I went back by her place to see how she was. Donald was just leaving as I passed him in the parking lot at 743.

Mom was in her room looking at Andy Griffith. She said they had been down to hear the Merry Hearts sing earlier. They had communion this morning and put name tags on themselves so the priest could call them by name. She said Bingo was there and he was addressed by the pastor as a "former minister of music". So she is thinking now that this is what he used to be. I told her to ask him next time she saw him and maybe he would tell her something. "Anything would be just fine" she said, just wanting to talk to the man. The little girl in her.

I was drained after not hearing anything about the car again all day, working all day, then someone at work telling us all that her preacher this weekend said that Obama wants to make the US a Muslim nation and outlaw Christianity, and that he wants to change the pledge of allegiance. I will never understand how a preacher, priest or whoever can stand there as a man of God, supposed to lift up Christ, and flat-out lie. And people believe him, so please pray for this man's soul as well as everyone else. We all need it!

I'm going into Second Life now and impale myself. Oops I already did that.

Sunday

Mom was in the room napping when I got there about 240. She was not in a good mood when I woke her up. 

They had made up her bed but the bedspread was not on there, it was just thrown on the bed in a heap. She said she had said something to a CNA about it but that they still hadn't made it up. She was clearly upset by listening to her voice. Both ends of her mouth were turned downward, and at first as she started speaking I was listening and watching her carefully to see if she had maybe had another stoke. But it became clear the difference in her speech was from being asleep and from being upset as it returned to normal with a few minutes.

We went out back and a yellow jacket immediately located me. I went to stomp it and touched mom's toe by mistake. I barely touched it though but she said her feet were hurting from the shoes so we switched them out when she went to eat.

She got upset about the bedspread again and started talking about that. I told her it wasn't worth it, that everyone keeps getting upset about it and that's what cases heart attacks and strokes. She went on though unabated. I asked her if she wanted me to say something about it and she didn't. "If I told them to make that bed up and they didn't do it I might go into a spasm" she said, then started laughing. Then she went on "I hope they feel so ashamed when they go in there and see that bed made up." Today was brownie day so I took the staff a tray of home made brownies. Nurse Pat took it to the break room for me. She was off today but was there to visit her mom.

She still had that sourpuss look on her mouth so I told her to think about something happy, like Marianne's wedding. "That's not a happy thought for me, having to get ready." You can see from all of this and the last couple of weeks I've had, why I just sat out in the Jeep for a while by myself when I got there.

She has changed her mind about the food too and now says she wants to sign a waiver. "There ain't no sense in that" she said, of not having pie crust and things like that. She said Ruth from church is still in the hospital. I asked her if she wanted to go see her and get out of there and she said "I ain't in the mood to go see anybody. You stay here three years and you won't be no smiling pot either." I asked her what was a smiling pot and she laughed and said she thinks she just made it up. 

We went in for supper and she came to the room and changed shoes and washed her hands before going back down there. When she finished she ate a brownie with come coffee then we took the coffee back outside to finish it off. David and Pat got there about 6 and I exited shortly therafter.

Soggy Saturday

I called mom about 230 and she was taking a nap. I told her I was about to do the same. I had to be at work early then came home and fixed some oyster stew so I was ready for a nap with the rain as a backdrop.

I went over about 520 and she was in the room getting some of the dark chocolate I brought Thursday. I brought her laundry back and told her she must have 5 gowns in there. When I was finished putting things away I found there were actually 6 gowns in that load. I told her I had heard to going to town but not goig to gown. She said she had "gownitis".

She said Ronnie Beaver came to see her today. He told her Ruth is in the hospital. "She has a urinal infection." I told her a urinal is something you pee into. She started laughing and said she wasn't good with English.

She said someone stopped up her commode yesterday. "It wasn't me" she said.

I called her back about 840 and she was still up. She was listening to the rain. She said David had called and it was raining really hard down there. I told her I had just put four batches of brownies in the oven for the staff there tomorrow.

Friday

Had to work late, but was still going to stop by moms but it started raining just as I left. I needed to wash some stuff and other things so I called to say I was not going to come by. Donald answered the phone. He said mom was in the shower, and would be out about 7

I called her later and got cut off and called back. She said she and Donald had gotten to sit outside a while before it rained. 

Thursday

Mom called me about 620 tonight. I was still at work. "Oh yeah" she said.

I went over about 7 and she was in the room napping. I got her some fresh towels and checked the ice but Sarah had already covered that.

She said "no one has called or come by today." I asked her if she had called anyone and she said "I called you didn't I!"

She said she thought she was talking to Theresa's mother in the hall and finally said to you "you look just like Theresa." And the lady replied "I am!" Mom just shook her head laughing. 

She said she went to see about Ruth after supper. They said she had an infection and could not come to the dining room at all "so I didn't go in I just talked to her through the door but she seemed happy to see me." After that she had stopped in the hall to hear the singing but moved on. "I felt like I was blocking the hall."

She walked today. They said something came up yesterday so they skipped that day. I started to leave because we're working late tomorrow too and I had to go let Gus out, and she wanted to make a quick run around the garden so we did.

There was a new moon out and mom said "Terry said it was broke", referring to when she was little.  We strolled around then I was gone.

Sep 23, 2009

mom and donald were on the porch when i got there about 540. i had a rough day with the insurance person from progressive. mom had a hair cut. she was bragging about david cleaning out her drawers for her last night. "he worked so hard on that" she said. she seemed really proud of it.