It's a Gregorious Life

About This Blog

This blog changed on July 7th 2006, the day my mom experienced a stroke. It was not a massive one but the invasive procedure to save her life resulted in a severe damage, equating to a massive stroke. She has been at two rehab facilities and and has been at her present rehab/nursing facility since October 31 2006. She likes it there but as most people her age she sometimes gets upset about it, and those thoughts are reflected here. They are not a reflection of the facility, which has always remained anonymous to protect the privacy of the staff and her fellow residents. Mom has often said though that she is glad she is there and have we all. The staff is dedicated like no other that I have seen. Mom is equally dedicated to walking again.

Thursday

My boss let me leave early at 6. My sinuses had been bothering me all day.

This morning I had a dream that I was sitting on the porch at mom's facility and she and dad drove up. They both got out of the car and mom was on a walker. They were getting back from therapy. When she got to the end of the sidewalk and stepped off onto the pavement she fell face forward onto the driveway. I could see her raise up her head and she was crying like a baby. It was so horrible. I ran to her and as soon as I got there she hopped up and grabbed her walker again. I said "momma you can stand up good!"

So I told her about that tonight. I said maybe it's a good sign her therapy will work. She's not looking forward to it at 9 in the morning but she's not opposed to it either.

She said resident council was today and she asked them "why am I going over there to get therapy when you could do it here?" She said they told her that her family had arranged it and she said no they hadn't. They when I reminded her tonight that we did she said "I know that."

They had omelets this morning and she loved it. She said the cheese was stringy and they cut them up with a big knife.

She got a card from both Emma and Erin each today. Terry and Mandy came by and showed her a photo of Michah opening her card. I showed it to her on my phone too from the email Melody sent me last night.

So with the visits and cards she said "today was my big day." She was in a good mood.

Wednesday

The usual suspects were in the lobby when I got there after work. Donald had a cross he had made me for Misha's grave. Mom had took a nap and said she woke up and went down to have fish, hush puppies, turnip greens, potatoes and jello. She thought it was breakfast.

Donald brought up the nonsense some people have of saying the President was born in a foreign country. I told him some people do not think there's a moon out there either. Then I asked Siri on my phone to send him to the moon. She promptly generated a "to" message that said "The moon" but said she didn't know who my uncle was.

Mom almost got upset about it thinking she really was going to send him to the moon. "You shouldn't mess with that Greg" she said, referring to the technology behind it. I told her it can't do anything like that.

She said she watched the State of The Union speech last night. "I feel all the way different about him. I think God put him in there. He's smart." Then she commented on how he was born in another country and came here and reminded us of our heritage. I guess I should send her to the moon with her brother.

Speaking of him, when I got there they both said some couple had passed by and asked them how long they had been married. Mom said she's not sure if they ever got them straightened out or not.

Drake went in the kitchen tonight and I barked like a big dog. He came running in here and thought it was outside. After some watch dogging he tired out and laid down on the sofa.

Tuesday

Mom was fat and sassy when I went by tonight after work.

In my 20 minutes there I learned:

-she already had her shower and her gown was on and the bed changed.

- she was eating a very good smelling chocolate cookie.

-her pastor and wife came by to see her today. She said he told her a lot of the people she had known there had died. She said she wished I could talk to them. I told her she had just talked to them. She said yeah but they need to talk to a Jordan. I said well they just talked to you. She said I mean a male Jordan like Andrew. I told her I'd put a stamp on her so she'd be mail. "Where are you going to send me, the Outer Banks?" she said as she laughed.

- Therapy went well she said he acts like she should stand up already and wash her hands.

- she said another tooth chipped off Sunday. I told her I need to get her to the dentist it's overdue.

-I forgot again to tell her they are tearing the old water tower down at Rex # 1.

And then I left. When I got home Drake was not there. Not at the door anyway. He's never not met me at the door or come running toward it. I shut the door and called him and he still didn't come. Finally I walked into the living room and called him and he was on the sofa just getting up. He must have really been tired. With Misha just checking out last week it scared me to death.

Monday

Mom was in a great mood when I got there after work today. She and her brother were in the lobby and she was literally pretty in pink. I told her it looked like an Easter outfit almost.

Ron and his mother came by and talked a while. Mom was smiling and laughing and excited about therapy coming up tomorrow. She said she would have preferred to have worn that outfit tomorrow for therapy.

Drake is still looking for Misha everywhere. He just jumped down from the sofa where she sat sometimes.

Saturday and Sunday

I took Donald and Bertie an All-American Dog from Sonic on my way to see mom. He was feeling better. He said he may make Misha a cross on Monday.

Mom was in the dining room but had just finished so we headed to the room. David and Pat came in not too much later. Mom said she played bingo this morning and won a quarter and there were some singers there at two that she enjoyed.

I went over Sunday a little earlier about 345. She was in the bathroom. We stayed in the room and talked until I took her to supper at 450. The food was already out. I went to get some gas and run an errand.

When I got back about 520 she was already in the room and David and Pat were there. I stopped by and looked at her plate in the dining room on my way and it was barely touched. Stew beef looked so good I amost ate it myself. Pat said she had eaten all of her carrot cake. Mom said she ate all of the stew beef that she wanted. We told her she needed to eat it all for the protein. I don't remember checking carrot cake on her menu anyway, but maybe I did.

David confirmed she has therapy sheduled again for the next two weeks.

Friday

Mom was sitting in her room in a good mood when I got there after work. Donald wasn't there so he must still not be feeling well. We hope he gets better soon.

She said she had a workout at therapy. "They worked me out" she said, adding that Dana told her she did really well again. "They were amazed how well I could pull up so good" she said. "I'd recommend that place to anyone."

She said she missed bingo because of the therapy but that was ok. She had me look into a white note on the board. It was telling us that we need to tell Anita if mom wants to see the podiatrist on February 8th.

She said they have her on the schedule for next week at the therapy place and that they gave Joyce a copy. She said she would get a copy from her Monday.

Drake got out of the doghouse at lunch and contolled himself the rest of the day. I think he's on the track to recovery too.

Thursday

I had lunch with Linda at Longhorn (salmon mmmm) then went home later to let Drake out and bury Misha. I buried her in the field, where I can put up a marker later.

Mom called me as I was on my way back. She just wanted to know how I was and how the day was going. She said hers was ok.

I went over after work. She was in the room with the door closed trying to put on her gown. I called for backup and the CNA came in and helped her.

They were playing bingo in the dining room. I asked her why she hadn't gone. She said she had forgotten about it. "I done got my quarter this week anyway.

She wrote in Michah's birthday card and said "I wish I could see his eyes when he opens it." I told her I would ask Melody to take a photo. It has monkeys on it and makes monkey noises when you open it.

David and Pat came in and we all visited a while. I left a little after 730 to go let Drake out, who even now his behavior is keeping him in the doghouse.

Wednesday

Misha died last night shortly after my last post. I thought she was sick on her stomach, but evidently it was a heart attack. She exhibited the same symptoms near the end that Jager had when she was diagnosed. It all happened so fast it still doesn't seem real. Drake is, as I type this,  walking around the house looking for her.

Mom was in her room alone when I got there about 545. She said Donald thinks he is catching a cold so he didn't come. She never got her shower last night either because of the thunderstorm. She declined, and they told her they'd give it to her today. She had her bag out.

She had a good therapy session today. It was with some new girl. "She had stretched everything in me when it was done with." She said she asked her "did I make an A and she said yes I did, that I had done real good." She's been in a good frame of mind for about a week now. Not lethargic or sleepy, very conversational and cognitive, like the old mom.

She had some tomatoes on the table that Batchie had brought her yesterday. Mr. Carpenter stopped by her table at supper tonight, and was going to cut up her ham but a cna beat him to it. She said she hadn't even seen the ham. I told her she needs to look around that plate me, because another time she had ham I cut it up for her and she didn't know it was on her plate until I mentioned it.

I told her about Misha. "We don't have good luck with cats do we?" she said, referring to Dexter's disappearance, Jager's death and now Misha. I told her no. It reminded her of when dad was sick. She said he would get mad at her for trying to help. "I prayed to God, I just don't know what to do." She said she had to take it to Him. She was a little choked up.

She asked me to take her poinsettia with me when I left which I did. We did her menu. Someone called just as I was leaving. "Sorry about your cat" she said as I left.

Tuesday

I had to work in Spartanburg Tuesday and didn't get back in town til 630. I went by the office then home. Drake still has dysentary and now Misha is sick. Mom called while I was trying to deal with it all. I told her I'd call her back. I did and David was there. I told him to tell her I'd see her tomorrow.

 

Monday

Mom and Donald were in the lobby when I got there after work.

Continuing what has become fashion week, she was wearing a new outfit today too. It was a pretty pink sweatshirt with matching corduroy pants.

I told her she looked good and she said she couldn't see it. I asked her if she didn't look at it in the mirror. "I can just see my head, and that doesn't look good" she said as she laughed.

I asked her what her day had been like and she drew a big zero in the air and said "you know what a zero is don't you?"

Some singers were there for Martin Luther King Jr. day and she did enjoy that, even admitting as much. "They could really sing, they had beautiful voices" she said.

Donald was talking to one of the residents relatives on her way out and he ran to the door to let them back in when they came back. I acted like I was calling 911 to report someone about to jump someone outside. Mom protested. Donald said it would tickle me to death to see his photo in lockup. Mom said "he doesn't want to go through that just to tickle you."

Mr. Carpenter stopped and talked about 20 minutes on his way out. He said he had written a letter about the therapy situation for his mom and now that she was back she was getting therapy regularly. He finally left and as I was leaving mom told Donald "that was quite a conversation wasn't it."

 

Sunday

Drake and I lounged around most of the day except for when I went out for lunch. Mom was in the room when I got there about 540. She said she had a good supper with sweet potatoes again. She had on one of her new outfits. I told her it looked good on her and she said someone else had told her that too today.

She said Terry had called and they talked a long time. Pat came in while I was there and was there when I left. She was going to help her put her gown on later. Mom really enjoys that.

 

Saturday

Today was a day of recovery, from being gone for three days and two nights. Drake and Misha were exhausted too, choosing to share my sleeping sickness for much of the day.

I did mange to rise though and cleaned up the house, something I started yesterday by vacuuming before Drake got home.

I went to moms at 515 was she was in the hall and Terry was coming out of the bathroom. So we went to the room and Terry showed me a ton of new clothes she had gotten mom today.

She picked her out a new outfit for tomorrow. Mom was in a good mood, cracking jokes and things. I was tracking David and Pat who were in Charlotte according to the map. I lost sense of time though when Mandy came in and started going through more things in the closet. Next I know I looked on the map and they were there- distance 0 miles. No sooner had I gotten out of my mouth that they were in the building they walked in.

I mentioned mom had asked if I had took my breathing apparatus with me to the meeting and Pat remarked that at least she had not referred to it as "that old thing" which was an inside joke between her and mom from a while back. Mom had not forgotten and was laughing and cutting up.

So it was me, Mandy and Terry, David and Pat and mom. "I have to call Donald and tell him I found my watch it was in my shower bag" she said.

There was a banana on the table and mom, because of the noise, said "they'll think we're having a party in here, with a banana; the dessert's a banana" she laughed.

They all left about 640 and I left about 7 after getting her some water.

 

Friday

The meeting was over with as scheduled at 1130 this morning. But I spent over 20 minutes in the parking decking waiting to be able to pull out of my space.

Still it was a short day. I went by the office and handled a couple small crisis then went to pick up Drake. I had gone home to vacuum first so as not to further traumatize him.

He was scared as he came out of the back of the doctors office, staring straight through the front door and not even seeing me, I had to call out to him. Then he was glued to the side of my face.

We got on the road and he was glad to get home. I went to moms about 515 and she was soon in the lobby. She was still glowing about therapy yesterday, saying how Colin was excited and that "I don't think he thought I could do it", referring to standing up out of the bed. "He was excited, I think he even clapped his hands" she said. She talked about him working on the muscles. "To him it's like opening a door" she said.

Donald got a new car so I went to check it out. It's loaded to the hilt, a new Matrix S with navigation and everything. I came back in and I saw Bertie was calling. I thought she was calling him so I handed him the phone. Then when I heard feedback, I realized it was him calling me. Shame shame shame. We had a good laugh though and mom was in a really good mood.Donald acted like he didn't know what the fire alarm button was and was going to pull it. Just as he touched it I gabbed moms leg and made a buzzing sound. She laughed and asked him to please not pull it "this is my home" she said. He's obviously got some meanness in him now that he's got the new car.

Oh and he said he was the one who took the photo of Linda and Dad. He said he used to make those types of pictures all the time.

 

Thursday

Called mom about 8. She said Colin told her at therapy that she is doing great. She was excited about it.

Wednesday

I'm exhausted. I called mom after the meeting about 640. She was in the room with Donald so I didnt keep her. She was in a good mood and asked me about the meeting and where I had left Drake. I told her he is at the kennel.
I just got back from the evening meal and I ate too much but I have to go to bed because I am so tired. And this is a wonderful bed too. God bless.
Here's a photo from my friend Kaye at the meeting and tonight I saw this photo of my cuz Linda and my dad- he was always a photography buff! It looks like she's holding him up! I wonder who took the photo.

Tuesday

Mom called me this morning to see what time her therapy was going to be today. I told her I thought it was at 2 but I wasn't sure. Donald was going to check last night when they got to the room but she probably forgot what he told her.

I got over there about 530 and she was still eating. She had some yummy stewed tomatoes and okra, and diet chocolate pudding.

She came out of the dining room about 545. She came through the doors closest to the lobby. She said Mrs. Carpenter was back, that she had fell and hurt her hip. She spoke to her on her way out.

She had a new cushion that they put in her chair at the therapy place. I think Pat took it over there for her. Mom said "I can scoot back better with it" then she demonstrated it. She said it felt a lot better too.

We went back to the room as she waited on a shower. Her tv remote had broken so I found some tape and put it back together.

While we were in the lobby I noticed a horrible burn on her neck. She said it happened last Wednesday when she was having her hairs done. A hot roller fell down and burned her neck. I asked her if anyone reported it and she said "Julia's been taking care of it." I don't know if anyone called us or not. It looks bad but mom said it didn't hurt. It's had almost a week to heal. I told her to be careful with it tomorrow.

 

Monday

Mom was in a good mood and sitting with her brother in the lobby when I got there a little after 530. She said the braces they put on her legs at night make her tired though. I asked her if she knew when they give her pain medicine and she said it was all at one time.

She was asking about her therapy and what time it was going to be. Donald was going to check the schedule when they got to the room.

She said "I don't have the spistoranctum to take exercise." I guess she meant at that moment. I showed them this video of a talking dog. Mom suggested Donald and Bertie rescue a dog like Drake. "We'd have to get rid of the cat" he told her.

I brought her some chocolate almond chunks because she said her chocolate went missing. She was good and only ate one piece.  When I left I told them not to have a head on in the hall. Then I said they already had two heads on between them.

 

Saturday and Sunday

Drove to Richmond yesterday in about 4 1.2 hours. Drake did the ride pretty well and was ok once he met everyone.

We all went out to eat (Drake stayed at the house) and called mom on the way about 645. She sounded really good on the speakerphone. She said Batchie's preacher Huffstetler and his assistant Jonathon had been by to see her. She also said someone from Temple had been by but the way I heard it she was not in the room when they were there.

Terry and I left at 1215 today and got back at 445, that was after 2 stops so we made good time. Drake was the perfect puppy. Mom was in the dining room looking very spry waiting on her food. Her hairs looked like they had just been fixed.

I  left Terry with her and took Drake home then went back and took Terry some bbq for supper. Mandy had already been to see mom once today and was coming to get Terry later.

Mom said Tim and Michelle had stopped by earlier. She said they told her they had so many people trying to get into church that they had to turn them away. Mom said "that sounds strange. I think I would have at least let them stand at the door outside or something." It was probably a fire department regulation.

I left her and Terry there about 645 having a good talk. David and Pat were on their way in to see her. I passed them in the hall and spoke a while. They had her laundry with them.

Friday

Mom had therapy this morning at 9. She said David called and reminded her. I talked to him and he said she was not happy about the early time.

When I got there about 530 she and Donald were in the lobby. She had what looked like chocolate on her lip, then after trying to wipe it off with a wet towel we determined she had scratched herself and it was dried blood. Later she tried to remove it and it came off. Then I thought I saw some blood forming again. "It's the shadow of a hair!" she laughed as she protested. And so it was what we originally thought.

She won five quarters at bingo. They had unlimited winnings allowed at 2pm. She said there was excitement at supper, as someone turned over Ruth's drink.

She said therapy went well. She had the schedule for the rest of the month on the table in her room. David said the room across from her is larger and was empty today but when I got there it was occupied.

Bertie sent mom a sweater for her bear. It fit furfectly. Donald found a note on the Janurary calendar in memory of Chuck, who died the other month. His mom is still there.

Donald and I both left at 712. I tried to cut through the dining room and get ahead of him but ran to catch up and beat me anyway.

Thursday

Mom was just getting to the room when I got there at 530.

She said she had just got back from breakfast. I told her it was supper. I brought her some hummingbird cake that my old supervisor had made. She loved it. "This is a great start to the day" mom said.

I said it's the end not the start. She said she knew that. But two minutes later she said about being supper time "is it?" She had forgotten that quick.

It bothered her. "I wonder if this is a mental condition. I never did this at home, forgetting what time it was." I saddens me but I told her the truth that today I thought it was Friday until lunch.

I told her I had a dream this morning about her therapy, that she had walked almost by herself to the transport van. I told her I hoped it was a sign she would be making good progress.

I left about 640. Pat texted me later that they were over there.

Wednesday

Pat met mom after therapy was over at 4. I asked mom when I got to the facility at 530 what she had done that day.

She said her knees and legs are really stiff and they're focusing on them. She wanted to know why Pat or me or David needed to be there when it was over. I told her in case they had instructions for the week.

"I ain't got so feeble that I can't repeat what they say to me" she said. Donald said she was sitting at the supper table without anything to drink. He got her some milk.

She said someone told her preacher Webber said he can't come over there any more. She didn't have details. She said Joyce took her to therapy but another lady came to get her. "I feel more like a hot potato every day" she mused.

Back in the room I went over the "you're not my momma" thing from the other day and realized that there's a very old children's book called Are you my mother or something like that. Let me look. Yeah here it is.

Donald and I tried to get her to smile for a photo. "Most every morning I wake up with a song in my chest" she said. "I don't sing it so as not to wake anyone up."

Tuesday

I called mom about 3 to see how her therapy had went. She said David had called and let her know it is tomorrow not today.

I went over after work a little after 7 and she was brushing her teeth. Her sweater was half on and half off, and her pants were pulled up to her neck. I don't know why the people there can't see that when they help her dress or finish up in the bathroom. If it was their mother they wouldn't leave them like that. Or maybe they would.

Anyway she was feeling bad about stuff. She said "I used to have a day to go to church or to wash or go to the grocery store, now there's nothing. There ain't no use to make no plans because they don't work out." Well happy new year to you too. I tried to encourage her but it's hard.

She said Terry called earlier.

Monday

David and Pat went over to moms at lunch and took her a happy meal. They said she enjoyed it. I saw Alvin on the table in her room later. She told me about it when I got over there. "See how happy I am" she said as she laughed.

Batchie and Rudy came in while they were there. Rudy told David about a machine that he could use to help his back. By the time I went to their house about 3 to pick up some nutroll they had the machine and Pat was assembling it.

I went to moms about 330. She said Brenda had been there and had just left. She brought her some more treats, just a few chocolate coconut balls.

A cna came in to bring her some fresh water and mom told her she was being lazy. The cna said she gave mom permission to be lazy. Since I was sitting there mom said "I have a witness you said that." She was in a really good mood but was obsessed about finding the blouse that Brenda had gotten her for Christmas.

I looked in the closet but it wasn't there. I told her it must be in the wash.

We went to the dining room a little before 5 and I waited in the lobby. Her brother came up about 5. I had already gotten her milk open as well as the tarter sauce for the salmon patty. Both of them were hard to open.

Mom came wheeling out a little later and brought me most of her samon pattie. I told her she should have eaten it and she said she didn't want it. So I ate it. It was really good. They headed to the room to go to the restroom. Donald said they'd be back in 12 minutes and in fact were back in 11, according to him. It was really quick. They must have fixed the issue surrounding that.

Mom said she thinks they no longer have an administrator. We haven't seen her in a while.

We headed back to the room again because she wanted a brownie. She started doing some exercises with her pull-thingy. We had her try to use her left arm. She did pretty good.

Sunday

I woke up thinking it was Monday. So I know how mom feels sometimes.

I went over about 3 and she was in her room asleep. It was almost 70 outside so I thought she may want to sit out on the porch. So I woke her up and right away headed down the hall. She was really still asleep. As we went out the door of the room she said "is momma finished eating?" I said who's momma? She said "your momma and my momma."

I stopped and looked at her and said you're my momma. Do you know who I am? She looked at me and laughed and said "you're not my momma."

We continued down the hall and she woke up. She asked where I had eaten lunch. I told her Linda and I went to Olive Garden.

We couldn't sit outside long because it was windy so we came in to the lobby. She said she went to Sunday school but missed the singing. She had had peas and greens at lunch. Terry had called. I tried to get a photo of her smiling but she refused. I told her I would have to photoshop a smile into it. "That'll be alright" she said.

I left and came back at supper about 5 past 5. She was eating. She had ham on her plate but didn't see it. So I cut it up and moved the sweet potatoes so she could see it.

I went on to the room and got the dessert I had brought us back to eat tonight from Olive Garden, a chocolate cake. But a CNA told me in the hall that she didn't want it because she knew I was bringing brownies. I did, but mostly for the staff. I only had her two small ones.

David and Pat came in just as I got to the room. David and I ate the cake. Mom came in later and had a brownie and Pat brought her some nutroll. David got her to practice a few exercises. She has therapy again tomorrow.

 

 

Saturday

Mom was in the room watching something on tv when I got there about 530.

She said Mandy had come by and brought my crock pot back, took down the Christmas stuff and put up a new wreath. She also put her poinsettia on the table where she could see it better.

She had found her list of exercises the therapist gave her yesterday but said she wasn't able to scoot back, so I scooted her back. She said she wandered if her neighbor back home was nicknamed for that; Scoot, real name Matilda.

She played bingo this morning and won a quarter. I told her that was a quarter she didn't have before.

She said she was half asleep when she went into the bathroom and tried to go by herself, realized what she was  doing and backed out and got hung. She said she called out for momma, Batchie, everybody. She couldn't remember if it really happened or if it was a dream.

Terry called her at 7 and they talked a while. I left about 730. Here's her Happy New Year photo.

Friday

Tim went by to see mom at lunch and got her some stuff from Bojangles. David came in just before they took her to therapy.

I went by about 6 and she and Donald were in the lobby. She said the therapy had made her tired. They put weights on her legs again. She said they were working on her knees a lot.

They were having a New Years party in the dining room when she got back so she went to that. I'm not sure if that's what it was or a party for someone who was leaving, as I had seen that posted somewhere the other day.

She said the therapist had written down some exercises for her to be working on but she doesn't know what became of the paper. I looked in the room and didn't see it.

Thursday

Terry and Melody and Michael and their kids went by moms this afternoon about 3. They took her some food from their Christmas lunch they had today and mom had it heated up for her supper tonight. Turkey and everything including pecan pie.

I went over about 7 and she was in the room snoozing. David got there not long after me. He was still there when I left about 730.

She said her knee was sore from therapy yesterday. He told her tomorrow it's at 1pm and he'll meet her there. She was sitting crooked in the chair. It looked really uncomfortable. We had her try to straighten up but it didn't help a lot.

Wednesday

Mom called me this morning about 9 something to see if I knew when her appointment was. I didn't so I called David. When I tried to call her back I could not get an answer.

I went over after work and she was still eating but soon came out to the lobby. She had on the new outfit she said David and Pat got her and a smile on her face.

We had a good time. She said "I'm trying to feel better about my future." I told her I really thought the therapy was helping and she shook her head in agreement. "He really worked on that knee" she said, speaking of the therapy today.

She said she got back about 3 and David was there when she left. "He was talking like I was doing a whole lot better" she said about her therapist. She said jokingly that he was little irritated though because she got confused and would push when he said pull and vice verse.

Donald had brought her a snack but I had also brought her a raspberry chocolate cookie from Subway. I told her to eat mine and save his for later because his was wrapped in alumininum foil and would last longer. "Well everyone's been telling me what to do today so I may as well keep it up" she said as she popped it in her mouth.

Her brother had also brought her an obituary from Monday's paper. It was for her friend Ruth Williamson. She had been at another facility but had died. Mom said no one had told her. "They (church) forgot about me after Andrew died", some negativity creeping back in.

I asked her on a scale of one to three with one being awful and three being awesome how would she rate her day. "I guess in the long run it was a three."

Indeed!

Mary Ruth Williamson

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GASTONIA - Mary Ruth Ivester Williamson, 85, of Gastonia, went to be with her Lord Jesus, Friday, Dec. 23, 2011, at Gaston Memorial Hospital.

She was a native of Fair Play, S.C., daughter of the late Lamar Ivester and Rosa Burdette Ivester Hall.

In addition to her parents she was preceded in death by her husbands, Robert L. Harris and Alonzo Williamson.

Mrs. Williamson retired from A.M. Smyre Manufacturing. Ruth was a faithful member of Fraley Memorial Baptist for 50 years. She was very active in her church including visits to shut-ins and hospital patients. She lived a life of total service to her Lord.

Survivors include her daughter, Carolyn H. Mayer and husband Bill; granddaughter, Tracy Nash; great granddaughter, Jessica Hucks; brother, Thomas G. Ivester and wife Fern; special grand dog, Prancer and very special friend, John H. Smith.

A funeral service will be held at 2 p.m. Monday, December 26, 2011 at the Founders Chapel of McLean Funeral Directors with Dr. Warner Doles and Rev. Ken Faulkenbury officiating.

The family will receive friends from 1 until 2 p.m. Monday, Dec. 26, 2011, at McLean Funeral Directors of Gastonia before the service.
Interment will follow at Gaston Memorial Park.

Memorial may be made to: Gaston Hospice, PO Box 3984, Gastonia, NC 28054.

Condolences may be sent online at www.mcleanfuneral.com

McLean Funeral Directors of Gastonia is serving the family of Mrs. Williamson.

Published in Gaston Gazette on December 25, 2011

 

Tuesday

David and Pat went by moms this afternoon and took her some presents from the beach. I went by for just a minute after work.

She was in the dining room listening to Community Christian singers. I sat down for a minute and asked her if the blouse she was wearing was new. She said it was the one Brenda from her church had given her. It looked really good on her.

I asked her about David and Pat coming by and she said she had a big blanket on the bed. I told her I would go look at it. It is huge. I went back and sat down and told her it was almost life-like. She agreed. She was smiling and obviously happy. I didn't stay so I don't know what else she got. She did say the shoes I got her seemed too narrow but was going to try them on again tomorrow. I told her I could take them back.

Mom said while we were in the lobby earlier today that David and Pat had sad they were coming back late today. She was right! I just confirmed their location on the iPhone.

Monday, December 26

Mom was in the room asleep when I went over there about 145. I was going to eat lunch and I had her a bo-berry biscuit and some coffee. But it was almost 2 and the lady came around about bingo.

So mom was really groggy but muddled off down the hall for bingo. I ate my lunch and started checking my email.

I saw where Cindy had said today would be a good day to come work on the tv so I called her and decided about 250 to go on over there since mom was still in bingo. I had took her shoes in and a top that was still in the car from yesterday so I laid those out on the bed and left the biscuit and coffee on the table. She had said earlier when I got there that she didn't remember the shoes from yesterday.

I went to Cindy's then home then back to moms at 510. I took her some ham biscuits Michelle had sent with us from yesterday. I took that to her in the dining room. Donald had gone to get Ruth some water.

Mom came out to the lobby later. She was tired and slumped over. I tried to get her to work on posture but she accused me of slumping too when I told her she was. "You are too" she said. She said the green beans at supper were not good.

Something we were talking about made her say "we climb mountains all through life. I'm climbing one myself right now not doing so well at it." We told her she was and that the therapy would help.

The reverend from St. Paul's dropped by, Rev. Sherill Curtis. He was there to see someone and when I recognized him I stopped him and told him what a good sermon he preached at Lorraine's funeral the other week. He introduced me to his wife, and confirmed what Lisa had said about him retiring at the first of the year because of his knees.

I left about 645 as they headed to the room.

 

Christmas Day, 2011

We had the pleasure of having mom with us for another Christmas this year, her 88th. She'll turn 88 in less than 6 months. It seems every day a little part is slipping away then she snaps back and surprises you.

I picked her up at the facility at 1. Terry was already there. We loaded up the car and got mom and headed to Tim and Michelle's. We were almost there when mom said "just one more left turn to go." She was correct, and it was only the third time she had been to their house in the course of a year.

We had a great lunch. The usual suspects were there. My chili sadly went untouched, as it took forever to heat in the crock pot and by then we were eating. So it ended up at Darrel and Mandy's when I took Terry home. The Tribeca traveled about 135 miles today.

We were setting around the table after lunch and mom started talking about Arthur Holtzclaw again, and how her had sang "Beautiful Brown Eyes" to her mom said "in the bathroom." I said what? Terry corrected me, she had said in the back room. Mom twirled her finger around her ear and said "your minds are messed up."

We opened presents and she had a ton there, about 6 I think. Some new gowns and pants and shirt and a pair of shoes. She got a video message from three of her great grandchildren while we were there so I played it for her. It was sweet.

We left about 530 and went back to the facility. I was going to take her clothes home and get rid of the boxes and take the tags off, but I wasn't thinking about making sure they fit first. As it turned out it didn't matter. When she learned what I had planned, to take them home, she said "yeah but you'll get to look at them tonight and I won't." It was heartbreaking to think of her in that room alone on Christmas night without her presents. So I went and got them. She's probably looking through them even now, it's about 8.

In what was surely illegal I made it from mom's facility to Terry's and back to moms house in exactly an hour. Normally it's a 45 minute trip one way, but there was no traffic. Everyone was at Mconalds or Jack in the Box.

We all had a good day in celebration of Christ's birth and I hope you did too whomever you are.

 

 

Christmas Eve, 2011

Ho Ho Ho! Or rather, trick or treat would be more appropriate for today it seems.

I met Linda at 11 at Olive Garden for lunch. They have a new dish with grilled chicken and spinach that has some nasty cheese in it that your teeth will remember forever; or at least until you vigorously brush them again.

After that I picked up some supplies for tomorrow's lunch and then washed the car and checked the mail at the post office.

I went by the house to drop off the food then went to put flowers on dads grave. Terry had called and said mom wanted some cedar on it from the tree at home so I had some of that with me. I called mom and she said to come by and get some flowers out of her room so I did. I put those on the grave then went by and got the staff 3 dozen donuts. 

By now it was after 330.  Mom was in the room snoozing. Brenda had been there this morning and mom didn't see her. She was in the dining room playing bingo. Brenda brought her some candy and a present. I took it with me tonight so she can open it tomorrow. She didn't know the box was there.

I had to deposit a check into the bank and I had to go home to get it so I rolled mom to the dining room at 440 and sat her at the table. I told her I'd be back in a little while.She was snoozing in he room right before we went to the dining room. When I woke her up she said "where's the baby?" I asked her what? She laughed and I said that was about as bad as "where's the beef."

So it was about 535 when I got back and she was still sitting at the table where I left her. She had on a bib and I asked her if she was finished, since most people were gone and her table was empty. She said they had not brought it yet.

I went back to the room for just a few minutes to strategize. It's like a war zone. So I go down the hall and see mom coming out of the dining room and turning toward the lobby. Mrs. Dodgins flags me down and asks me if I would take Oscar back to his room. She said his roommate went out to eat tonight and no one is there to take him. So I went to tell mom what I was doing then went and got Oscar and took him to his room. I saw his scanner over there and we talked about that for a minute. He said there was a power surge a while back and it blew it's regular power but it would sill operate on 12V.

On the way out of his room I saw a cna and asked her if she could get mom a grilled cheese sandwich since mom had said she would be happy with that. So I took mom back to her table and we sat there a while.

Rebbecca came over and said she was sorry she had not notice mom didn't have a tray. She did some research and found out someone put mom down to be gone out tonight and had her mixed up with someone else. They brought her a grilled cheese and a milk and we sat there til she was finished. "No one came by for me to tell them to get me a sandwich" she said. "Tomorrow is Monday" she said. I told her no it was Sunday and Christmas.

We went back to the room and I got her clothes out and some ice water. She thanked me for being there at supper so she could eat.

Another day in the neighborhood.

 

Friday

Mom was smiling and alert when I got to her therapy about 1040 this morning. Dana was helping her again and was asking her to remember things and having her to look in the mirror. She wasn't sitting straight so she asked mom was was wrong with the picture. Mom said posture, and she remembered what she had told her about how to position herself.

Joyce came to pick her up and we went to the facility. I had moms medicaid papers with me for re-certification so she signed those while I was there. She could not see my finger in front of her but managed to basically sign them ok. One signature was really good. Yet she can read the small text scrolling across the tv screen and the little promos they have in the corner really well.

She said they put weights on her legs while she was exercising. Dana said she stood only 30 seconds and was having pain in her arm.

I left the facility and went to the easily-accessible social services building (facetiousness intended) to drop off her paperwork.

I went back over at 5 and she and Donald were in the dining room. I was in the hall talking to Mrs. Neely when Donald suddenly lunged at me and threw his hands up like Frankenstein to scare me. He got a big laugh out of it and I told him that was his Christmas present cause the other one is going back.

Mom came out after not too long. She had took a nap and thought it was tomorrow. She said the therapy yesterday had made her sore. I told her that was today. She seemed ok otherwise but the memory thing was bothering her. "It makes me wonder if I've had another stroke. It's not normal, not remembering it's still today." I met Libby yesterday, the daughter of mom's next door neighbor. I told her I think that spending so much time there alone is causing her to lose touch.

Mom said no one comes to check on her. She slumps over in the chair and no one comes to check. She could be dead for hours and no one would know.

We recorded some Christmas greetings to Erin and the kids and to Dave in Canada and to Facebook. Denise from work had sent her a flashing earring and she was wearing that.

 

Thursday

Mom was in the room asleep when I got there a little past 7. I woke her up and she was utterly confused.

She thought she and Terry had gone to church then had dinner in the dining room at the church. The she thought she was at Davids when I was there, but immediately said "no I'm at (facility)." She thought it was morning but I corrected her.

She was in a pity mood. No sweets at supper, came back to the room and had none so she got chewing gum "as usual." She said the cna that had took her to the bathroom didn't pull her underwear up and she had a time getting them up over her pants. She had to go again while I was there and was happy someone else took her.

Her arm was hurting, and her steak at supper had too much gravy on it. "I don't know if that Cindy doesn't know how to cook steak or not." I said you mean Donald's Cindy? And she said yeah, she's the dietitian. I told her no, she didn't have anything to do with it. She disagreed and said she may mention it to Donald after I told her to just slap him for her tomorrow.

That's not mom. She has changed so much just in the past few months. She's more often bitter, tired and sleepy, unable to concentrate. I hope the new therapy hasn't reached her too late.

Wednesday

I went over after work and a trip to the store. Mom and Donald were in the lobby.

I started taking photos of the back of my head again. Donald said "you don't need to do that all you gotta do is ask me I'll tell you what it looks like." It was funny.

Mom said when they came to get her for therapy she needed to go to the bathroom but she had been asleep so she didn't get to say anything. So she had to go while she was at the therapy center. She said she had to try two toilets before she could get on one. "It was embarrassing" she said.

She had a new therapist today and said he told her that people do too much for her.

Tuesday

Mom called me in the afternoon to check on her therapy schedule. I told her it was for tomorrow.

I went over after work and she was in the room and it was a mess. Her body wash was spilled in the floor, there was paper everywhere, and the water was running.

Batchie had been there with a gift basket and there was a card in it. Mom had not opened the card and said she didn't know it was in there. She said Shirley from her church had came by and brought her a $50 WalMart gift card from the church. Her menu was there but she had checked her and there and it made no sense. I filled it out for her.

Terry called and had called her earlier and gotten cut off. Mom doesn't understand those things anymore.

I got her toothpaste out and went to the nurses station to tell them about the soap all over the floor before someone got killed. She said she'd call someone. She, the nurse supervisor came in to clean it up because the maintenance person had left at 7, which she said was news to her. I left, as she was in there cleaning that up, and the bell was going off from someone wanting help.

It's almost like an insane asylum, the way this place is staffed. I could have cleaned it up myself had I known she was going to do it, but at that point it was best I left before drywall started to break up.

Monday

Mom was still eating when I got there a little after 5. But she came out to the lobby pretty quick.

She had fried chicken but left some of it. Donald even ate a piece. We had a visit from a new friend, a little Yorkie named Sophie. And Mrs. Petty's daughter came by to show us some photo's of her grandson she finally got to go visit in Toronto last week.

Mom said some children had been there earlier with horns and played them for the residents. Donald and I had to keep reminding her to sit up straight with her shoulders back. He told her she looks 10 years younger when she does that and he's about right. I'd say 12 1/2 actually.

We went to the room from there and I opened my card from her. "And many more" she said.

 

 

The Weekend, December 16th-18th

Friday was a bust. I called mom and talked to her about 8pm after I got back from High Shoals. Denise and I along with our former supervisor had took some food up to Lisa M's house and stayed a while to meet a lot of the family from out of town that we hear so much about.

Mom had therapy that morning at 10. Pat told me later she had went by there about 1030 and mom was doing well.

Saturday I left for Lisa's moms funeral about 1130. It was at 1. I drove up there with Denise and Lisa T. It was really a nice one. The pastor gave a good sermon and Lorainne's son in law John talked about how she was not a mother in law but a mother. She was really a good woman I was glad I had the pleasure of meeting and being in the company of several times over the last five years. It was at Saint Paul's Lutheran Church, which unlike many congregations of lesser focus chose to stay within the ELCA.

After we got back David and Pat took me to Cracker Barrel for lunch about 230. They also gave me a birthday present- an awesome black leather jacket! I have not had one since my 20's and it was brown. It looks really good and fits well. I went over to moms after that and Terry and Marianne were there with Annabelle. Mom was holding her and having a ball.

I went back over to moms a little after 5 with Drake and some of my birthday cake from Wednesday for mom. David and Pat had her sitting in the lobby with some coffee. She ate some of the cake with that. They had mom sitting comfortably in the lobby chair, and said she had gotten into it mostly of her own accord. She's putting her therapy into practice.

Another amzing event took place. David petted Drake and then Drake jumped into his lap - not once but three times, the last time for comfort because he was scared of a group of people pushing a chair down the hall. It was an amazing site, and gave comfort knowing this unexplained animosity is finally over.

I also had a Christmas ring for mom that Denise sent her. It's green and flashes different colored lights. She loved it. Her memory going to work she said "she's the one that gave me the apple butter." I said yes it was from her daughter's wedding.

Sunday Linda and I went to Ruby Tuesdays about 2. She had made me a calendar out of photos she had gleaned from Facebook that I had took of the mountains, Drake, mom, etc. It's really cool. I went to moms after that and took her clothes back. I hung them up while she ate supper. She had called me at the restaurant and said she had been watching skiing all day long. It was still on when I got there.

Then she started musing about Arthur Holtzclaw, how he had stayed with her and her dad all night when she had her tonsils out and "he kissed my nasty mouth". "I think he loved me" she said.

David and Pat went over later. Mom called just before they got there. They said she thought she heard Terry and Marianne singing down the hall.

 

 

 

Frances Lorraine Long 2/15/1930-10/15/2011

I got a call at 7 this morning from my coworker Lisa. She said her mom  Lorraine died about 530 this morning. She was a wonderful lady I had the pleasure of knowing and seeing many times. She had a wonderful sense of humour and an extraordinary sense of caring. She will be missed by a lot of people. Everyone at the office as well as the family still don't believe it, it was so sudden.

I took a photo of the moon this morning about 730 in memory of Mrs. Long.

I called mom about 1pm and told her. She had given mom some shoes that she could not wear and mom loves them.

I went over about 720 just to get some photos of tonight's Christmas party. Marianne and Annabelle and Terry were there as were David and Pat. Mom was all smiles. She was loving seeing one of her great grand-children.

 

 

Lorraine   Memorial for Frances Lorraine Long Born in Charlotte, NC on Feb. 15, 1930 Departed on Dec. 15, 2011 and resided in Lincolnton, NC. Visitation: Saturday, Dec. 17, 2011 Service: Saturday, Dec. 17, 2011 Cemetery: St. Paul's Lutheran Church Cemetery Please click on the links above for locations, times, maps, and directions.    Mrs. Frances Lorraine Alexander Long, 81, of Lincolnton, NC, died Thursday, December 15, 2011 at Gaston Memorial Hospital. She was born February 15, 1930 in Charlotte, NC, a daughter of the late Irwin McNitt and Novella Lillian Stiles Alexander. Lorraine was a graduate of Ashley High School in Gastonia and retired as a credit clerk from the Credit Bureau. She was a longtime member at St. Paul's Lutheran Church in Dallas where she was a choir member and active with the Mary and Martha Circle. She was a loving wife, mother, and grandmother. Survivors of Mrs. Long include her children, Angela Hayden of Lincolnton, NC; Patty Brenner and husband John of Lebanon, VA; Lisa Martin and husband Bruce of Lincolnton, NC; Paul L. Sims of Gastonia, NC; Jeffrey Long and wife Sheryl of Lincolnton, NC; sister, Sue Craig of Gastonia; grandchildren, Chad Hayden, Collin Brenner, Kyle Martin, Spenser Brenner, Tayler Long, Logan Brenner, Cameron Long, Abbey Long, and Jackie McCarter; great-granddaughter, Courtney Frady; several nieces and nephews. In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her husband of 41 years, David P. Long, by her son, Ronald Long, and by her brother, Billy Irwin Alexander. A funeral service will be held 1:00pm, Saturday, December 17, 2011 at St. Paul's Lutheran Church with Pastor Sherrill D. Curtis officiating. The family will receive friends from 11:30am to 12:45pm, prior to the service in the nave of the church. Interment will follow the service in the church cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to St. Paul's Lutheran Church, 531 Hardin Rd., Dallas, NC 28034. Condolence messages may be sent online at www.McLeanFuneral.com. McLean Funeral Directors of Gastonia is serving the family of Mrs. Long.

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Wednesday

Mom called me in the car about 708pm. I told her I was almost there.  I had just left the restaurant. The office and my boss took me out for my birthday and she bought my supper. There were seven of us. We had a good time and a great cake.

When I went in mom was watching tv. I showed her the card Lisa S got me which is a musical card that has dogs barking the happy birthday song. Then I showed her a photo of the cake which had a "picture" of Drake on it. "Well I be dog" mom laughed. I said no that be the dog, pointing at the ones on the picture.

I asked her if she had done any exercises today and she said just the ones where she lifted her legs. She asked me again what the therapist said and I went over it with her again and reminded her of what she had done with her yesterday. I showed her how to do the one where she lifts her leg to strengthen her hip.

She got ill, musing that it "seems so stupid with all the stuff they have over here and I gotta bundle up and go over yonder" to get therapy. She said it was an aggravation for us and for Joyce. I told her it wasn't and that she better stop looking for negative things and look at the positive, that something is being done.

Her brother had just left. I wonder if he got an earful of that too? I hope she starts feeling better about the therapy. I left about 750.

 

Tuesday

Mom's first new therapy session was today.

She was in the gym with David and her therapist Dana when I got there. She had been on the parallel bars. Now she was on a large table and Dana was working with her to loosen up her hip and legs and arms. She showed her in the mirror how she was sitting sideways and then she straightened up.

She told mom some things she can do there in the room and while we're there.

David left about 1015 and I called Joyce to come get her shortly after that. Mom and I waited in the lobby on her. I told her that if she felt some pain not to mention it unless it was pretty bad, 5 on a scale of 10. She said if it hurt bad she had to say something and I agreed. I told her I just didn't want her to dissuade them from doing their job just because she rolled over a seam in the mattress, which is what she said hurt.

Joyce picked her up a little after 1030 and I left. She called me at 103 and wanted me to come eat some of Brenda's peanut butter pie. I told her I would come by after lunch which I did but she was no where to be found. I took the pie and took it back to the office where Denise and I finished it off.

I called her later to tell her I came by but it went to music on hold then she kept the phone off the hook. David and Pat went by there about 7 and I stopped by about 720 to bring her toothpaste.

 

Monday

I called mom about 10 to see how she was but no one answered. She called back about 1020 and said she was coming down the hall when she heard the phone ringing and tried to call back. She said it was an error message but got through the second time.

She had been in the dining room playing the drums. Someone brings them around to bang on while they play old songs like I've been working on the railroad.

David called me late afternoon and said her appointments this week for therapy had to be switched to mornings because of the transport schedule.

So I told her when I went over after work. She and her brother (happy birthday!) were in the lobby. She grimaced when I told her it was at 930 in the morning. We tried to encourage her but she is trying to set her sights low.

"I'll just get my feelings hurt like I did over here. They'll find some reason not to do anything for me" she said. We told her to give it all she's got.

The Weekend, Saturday and Sunday December 10th & 11th

I went over to moms about suppertime yesterday. She was back in the room already and watching tv.

She said David and Wendy and Will and David and Pat had been by last night and that they had been by today too after lunch. She had a good time seeing them.  They brought her a new gown for Christmas.

Brenda from her church had come by with some brownies and a peanut butter pie which she put in the fridge. I ate a little of the brownies. Mom said she thought someone had been in them. I said I better check them out to be sure they're edible. "Noooooo"

I told her that Drake and I had seen 4 deer out in the field near the carport just before I left to come over there. They were huge. Three were staring at us and one was eating. Then they turned after a while and scampered off, their huge long white tails up in the air.

I looked at Drake and asked him what he thought about seeing his first deer. He ran at me and clapped his front paws on my knees like he was high-fiving me.

"You know about Catfish Cove don't you?" she said, talking about tomorrow. I didn't since it was mentioned Thanksgiving and not since. But Pat called later and told me what time.

So I picked her up Sunday at 1245. She was almost in the lobby. "You're faster than me" she said with a smile. I told her she had done good. She had called just as I got into the car to leave so she made good time.

We got in the car without a problem and got to Catfish Cove right on time at 115. Time and Michelle had just drove up and David and Pat were just a minute away. We didn't have to wait long for a seat.On the drive over mom had mused about where the idea of a Christmas tree to symbolize Christs birth came from. "It's a bunch of hullabaloo" she said of all the fuss at Christmas.

David's birthday was Thursday so they had him a birthday cake. Pat got mom's food then we had cake after lunch. It was almost 330 before mom and I got back to the facility.I left after a few minutes and came back at 530. The Salvation Army had come by and left her a present box with some socks in them.

She said she didn't eat but a few bites at supper. I was still full too. "I don't know when I've eaten so much over two or three days" she said. I had remembered to bring a new top to her cup so I switched that out for her. I brought her piano man Christmas player too. I told her I got the wreath up on the front of the house today.

I left her sitting comfortably about 7.

 

 

Friday

David and Pat were at the rehab place when Joyce got mom there this morning. Pat said the evaluation went well.

The therapist told mom her wheelchair is too big and that she needs a smaller one with a special cushion because she's in it so long. She said to have mom sit in a chair when we are over there. I was going to do that tonight, but I started feeling dizzy and hot about 5pm, so I didn't want to try to maneuver her into a chair and lose balance.

She said it looked very promising. She had mom stand and sit on the bed, tested her strength, things like that. Pat said mom said "I think she's going to help me." She told her she would always need assistance but hopefully will be able to stand and get in and out of the car better.

I went over after work. I was not feeling as dizzy but it was still there. Mom said it is vertigo. I don't know what Alfred Hitchcock would be doing inside my head but I let it go.

She told Donald about the trip to the doctor. She said she hated to tell Nick about the chair being too big "because he worked so hard to get it for me." Donald said see, she's always thinking about someone else.

"It's what makes life interesting" mom said.

Thursday

Mom called mid afternoon to ask if someone was going to go with her tomorrow to the evaluation. I told her David was.

I went by after work about 7. Mom was in her room in the snack drawer. Unfortunately so were about 1000 gnats. There was an old banana in there that had turned black and generated the gnats. I emptied the drawer and went to the nurses station to see if they could bring some bug spray or something.

The nurse tried but said maintenance had left. She came to the room and told us.

David and Pat came in and he took the tray to the sink down the hall to wash it.

I had to go but they stated a while. Mom has her evaluation in the morning.

We took a group photo at the office this afternoon so here it is.

Wednesday

I told Lisa at work mom must be rubbing off on me. I was thinking all morning it was Tuesday and I was working til 7. Actually we were leaving two hours earlier since it was Wednesday.

Mom called mid-afternoon. She said she wanted me to know that she might be going to some singing tonight at David and Pat's church and wanted me to know where she was in case I came over and she was not there.

She said her day had been real busy. Had her hair washed, Mandy and Darrell came and stayed a while. They brought her a poinsettia. A nurse came in and told her she weighs 208 and her sugar is 120, and that she was going to have to make some changes. "I've been trying to do some things since that 200 bell sounded" she said. She said she fears they're going to take her bread away. When I filled out her menu tonight I left off a lot of bread and desserts. She said she was going to have to let go of the snack drawer.

I told her when I got there about 515 that this was not the sign of someone who didn't know what was going on. Mrs. Pettys daughter was there and I told her what mom did and that she tried to pretend she didn't know what day it was sometimes. I said this call was proof it was all an act. She's on top of everything.

So Donald was in the lobby when I got there and she came up shortly thereafter and we had the aforementioned conversations. Mrs. Pettys daughter also tole me that Chuck died yesterday morning. That was fast. Very sad. I told her about him asking about my trip. That was after he had collapsed and came back. His obituary is here.

We went to the room and she got ready to go, changed shirts and went to the bathroom. Then we went to the lobby to wait on David and Pat. David came in about 620 and they went to the car. I went to talk to Pat and while I did that Donald made a quick escape. Didn't even say goodbye. I saw him walking down the sidewalk. I was aghast.

 

 

Tuesday

I called mom about 10 this morning to tell her about a crazy dream I had this morning. Her hair was auburn like it used to be and she was at home. She told me she talked to my cat during the day and wanted to know if I would rig up a recorder to record her talking to it.

She had a good laugh. "Misha would love that" she said. She sounded like her old self.

I went over briefly after work and she signed another birthday card, or re-signed it I should say. Once she got started she lit out and almost wrote a book. She seemed uncoordinated when I got there but it was obvious from the vigor with which she wrote she was determined to get this done. It was David's card and I will tell him how hard she concentrated to write it all out. She was waiting for her shower and I motioned to the girl who came to give it to her to give her just a minute so as not to break her concentration. I had to go get a ball point pen from a nurse, who interrupted her supper to get it for me bless her.

Many was there again today and decorated the room and brought mom a new blanket and Christmas stuff.

Mom's an amazing woman.

Monday

Mom and Donald were in the lobby when I got there a little after 530. It was misting rain and very foggy outside so I thought they may have cancelled the trip to the singing.

We had not been in the lobby but a little while when Oscar came walking by escorted by a bunch of people. His and moms names were the only ones on the sign up sheet when I put her name on it Friday. She said no one told her that they were not going.

She didn't want to go anyway, but the point is no one told her. Or if they did she didn't remember. She wasn't concerned about it but obviously Oscar made it out the door. Did they cancel it because only 2 people signed up? They still should have told mom. Her name was on there, I put it on there myself. Just another case of non-caring.

As Oscar walked by it reminded me of a scene from 1989's The Lost Boys where Edward Hermann's character is surprised as he sees some people leaving his shop that he didn't know were there in the first place. I'll always remember that look.

Mom seemed in a good mood. She said Mandy had came by and "found dust on stuff." Batchie called. A man stopped by and told us he went to see Chuck today and that he's already at the hospice and not expected to live but another day or so. It happened that fast. He had just gotten out of the hospital when he stopped and turned around and asked me while we were all out there on the porch how my new camera had performed in the mountains the week before.

We went to the room and I left a little later. Some turkey and dressing was giving me a fit.

Sunday

Mom was really tired today. I went over a little before 230 and she was asleep in the chair. I had my computer with me and birthday cards for her, but she was so sleepy I decided to wait til after supper to let her write on them.

I took her to supper about 430 then got her in the hall about 520 for the journey back. She wrote out three birthday cards but her sight was really bad. They're almost unreadable as she wrote on top of lines she had already written and became ill when I tried to move the card so she wouldn't.

David and Pat came in a little after 630. She finished the cards.